Past few days have been extremely tough for me emotionally. I’ve been crying myself to sleep.
I was in relationship with this guy, whom I loved to moon and back. We very much wanted to marry each other. We involved our parents. Things were going on and off for last 2 years. my family was quite okay with him, but his family wasn’t. But he still somehow made them to say yes. But despite lots of efforts, his family tried to accuse my parents to not want this marriage. My father called, and clarified too but they always came up with some uncertanity or other. Things were going extremely toxic. His father even stopped receiving my father’s calls. That was the end. I couldn’t take it anymore. I called it off. 2 months back My ex boyfriend never took my side. He asked me to force my father to call again and again, but couldn’t stand and make his father call back my father. He is now accusing me to hell for breaking and ruining things. He says I used him, I never loved him. What could have I done? Was it my fault??? He now wants me to come back, mend things, take a stand for us.
But I know I can’t change his parents’ thinking. Things will forever be rough and toxic if I get married. HELP ME! I can’t stop crying. I never wanted this to end. Situation made me break things.
Don’t force urself or else convenience urself…i have tried even if evrything trying to be perect in the end of the day its just become burdensome and never going back even if u try ur butt off… after a time u feel like what’s the point of all this that’s dosen’t make u happy nor understand u or support u… so be careful when u take any decision just because someone forcing u should not take such decision… u r only one responsible for ur happiness… don’t let others to decide it
Hey young warrior, what you are going through is completely understandable. Sometimes love blinds us and we loose our respect as well. I’m with you and the notion that we should shed our ego and sometimes respect as well to build a relationship. Your side of story says that you and your father have repeatedly tried to make things work(I’m believing you on this), also that the guy’s parents never showed much interest and didn’t move an inch to build things.
With all of this I must say that if you feel you and your family have actually(and I’m mean honestly) sacrificed a lot and the guy’s side in still not inclined then there is not much left to do. A man is supposed to take stand and be there to mend things in relationship at every stage(this may sound old but I feel this is true). He is supposed to become the bridge between two families at all times…If you feel you have done everything responsibly and devoted yourself then at this time nothing more can be done.
You may cry and should as well, but know this…if you’ve done as much as you & your parents can then please convey this honestly & in an open manner to your ex. Keep talking, things will get better for sure.
I am not at your stage … but can only imagine the pain that you are feeling ! I know this must be traumatising , and you want to give up everything you have for this person! But my sincere advice would be talk to that person again , show him your efforts , and ask him again to confront his father about the marriage ! If he is not willing to do this for you , what makes you think that he will stand for you after marriage ! If he can’t support you then what’s the basis of this marriage ? The only person who can make this decision is you ! We are nothing but bunch of strangers helping you with the most important decision of your life , which has to be taken by you ! The most painful thing about a relationship is when they are not what you think… so cry , ask your gut what you would do if same thing happen with your best friend and you have the answer!
sana @sana_here_
don’t worry babe, don’t force yourself too much for him. you are right things will go so much toxic if you get married to him, if his parents aren’t ready to accept this you can’t do anything. just don’t lose yourself. it’s not your fault at all.
