One habit to build your mind.

One habit to build your body.

One habit to build your business.

Experiment until you find the ones you can stick with for life.

In 5 years you won't be the same person.



Personal Win

He said i was gonna leave him. And i promised him i wouldn't he promised the same. But guess who broke their promise first? He. And then he got a girlfriend. It sometimes hurts but most of the time i don't feel anything just a bit betrayed...

One Sided Love

Hey, i want to meet new people and have new friends, pls talk with me 💖 

Friends

Be so busy improving yourself that make you forget to check your phone

3am Thoughts

Unable to remove painful memories and the feelings of secretly wishing things to be hurting to the one who gave pain. 

Exhausted

Feeling bore is somebody there.....?

Breakup

I had a breakdown at work. I was kicking a functioning ventilator and saying "Nothing works in this stupid hospital!" I am so tired of working here nothing works nothing works
 Why that happened?
I had a 36 year old in ward with me ( ICUs are full so severe patients are also managed in suspect wards ). He honestly wasn't that bad so he would talk to me during rounds and I would tell him he's going to be fine . He showed his phones wallpaper , a picture of two kids. Then I said oh they are really cute , no worries stay strong u will be able to see them soon. He said then I'll tell them about you , the doctor who saved me. Then we both laughed a little and I moved onto the next patient.  But he deteriorated overnight and next day he was requiring a lot of oxygen and not maintaining saturation. Now I decided that he needs to be on a ventilator. And most govt hospitals today have the new PMcares ventilators and you know what these ventilators have in common? THEY DON'T WORK!!  It's really really sad. I mean I am not political or anything it's just it makes angry and disgusted that there's corruption when it comes to critical care in healthcare. I uh..used one ventilator it didn't work and then I used the other ventilator still it didn't provide my patient enough oxygen so I was helpless now ! What do I do? So I left my ward and began looking for an old Ventilators ( which didn't come by PMcares) and found one in another ward. Now the problem is you can't even take a pair of gloves without permission of the staff sister of that ward. So I asked the ward boy to take the ventilator and I told nurse of that ward it's an emergency I need it. And she was yelling at me? It's OUR VENTILATOR. , AAP PAGAL HO KYA? Aisi nai hota . I was telling her again and again my patient is dying , she said toh aap apne ventilator use kro , I said khrab h , she said toh theek krwane the na doctor how irresponsible. 
Then I ... thought for a second and I said Sister aapko pta hai...mera patient VIP patient hai..if he doesn't survive then it's all on you.
Then she got scared and gave us the venti 
I ran to my ward and by the time I reached , my colleagues were just shaking their head like "no" I said No no no , I got the venti..i just need to intubate the patient..they grabbed me and said it's ok it's too late pls stop this. I just I started crying and had a breakdown . It's not easy when you use young patients it's not easy to work with bare minimum resources and 
Still tryna save lives! It's like going to a war without guns . Sigh. 


COVID-19

I am introvert plus i got anxiety it's really getting on my nerve and makes me depressed sometimes people tend to not interact with me because they think i got attitude and honestly i don't . People always ask me why i am quite ?but it's difficult for me to explain it to them that unless ik them well i can't interact because i got anxiety.But due to this i am not able to interact as well .I can speak in front of a group i got no problem with that but when its one to one conversation i find it really hard and often feel uncomfortable my parents keep forcing me to explore and talk with all strangers i meet they often tell me i won't be successful because i am quite shy and introverted inspite of having no problem to address a group my academic achievements and my skills .A girl asked me out on a date and due to my anxiety i could not even tell her anything.All these thoughts make me really depressed will i ever be successful will I die alone with nobody to love me..














 i won't be successful because i am shy quite and introverted inspite of me having the req akiips and performing really well in my college there are  strangers

Anxiety

Hey everyone,
I am at a point in life where I earn enough, but I don't enjoy my work(which I used to, but due to my new organization).
I am not able to switch and feel so confused right now. I have lot of responsibility to take care. It's just getting a big toll on my head...I really need to talk to someone who can just help me....

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts