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One day an anonymous person texted my mom, asking if my father is home and stuff and my dumbass eight year old self thought it was suspicious and replied crap like “I am my father’s first spawn, get the hell away from my mother you foul whore” and then my mom saw it a few minutes later and shouted “What if that person was a woman?!” Like, hell, that didn’t change my mind. I just thought “Then that just means you’re cheating with a woman ugh you dumbarse 🙄”

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