Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Okay, so, I was trying to find a place where I could vent without being judged or without bothering anyone and I think I finally found it. Hurray :) How am I feeling? I am stressed. Sad. Confused of my own feelings. But mostly I am scared. Scared of myself. Scared of not living enough. At this point I am scared of everything. I feel like I am still stuck in 2020. I guess that’s the last time I felt happy, no matter what was going on In the world, I still felt happy. I don’t remember a single thing from 2021. Like really. I feel like I didn’t live in that year, I feel like I just closed my eyes at the start of 2021 and when I opened them, boom, Happy new year 2022. And this year… I don’t even remember this year had started and we are already in march. Every single day for past 2 years looked same to me. I didn’t do anything special, I didn’t feel special. I feel like I am loosing time all the time. It doesn’t feel real. Nothing is feeling real. I don’t even feel like alive anymore. I am scared to talk about it to people I know, I am scared to talk about it to my parents. So I am suffering alone. Might sound stupid, I bet it is stupid, but I seriously need help, because I am slowly loosing hope that it will get better. I feel like I lost a whole last year and that scares me. I am losing myself again, but this time it is worse than it ever was. To anyone who decided to read this mess till the very end, thank you. I hope you all have beautiful rest of your day/night <3 (funny how posting this makes me feel a little better)