Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

okay hi, quick vent.
so i have an ex. right yeah?
we will call him sir William poopybutthole
anyways, so sir William poopybutthole and i have been broken up for a few months now. i think its been since june? anyways, i was looking through some old messages of him and i. i just realized it hurt yk? not in a way of “omg i miss you please come back”. it was more of, i miss the physical connection we had. i miss the gross and weird stuff. i don’t miss sir William poopybutthole i miss the contact. i miss the way a human would hold me and shiz. i have MAJOR issues in my life, and i starve for love and affection because i didn’t really get it when i was younger. i think that’s also a reason why sir William poopybutthole and i had such bad issues. it’s because i literally fall for whatever guy tells me pretty. i just think, none of it was him. wait, maybe like a little bit? i don’t know maybe 50-50? it kinda ranged of how toxic one of each other was. the thing is we dated for 2 years. it was so hard, because the relationship was so toxic i just became toxic myself and it sucked and i hated it. i wanted to leave so hard so many times, because i hated everything about that relationship. but i loved him so much, i loved him with my soul. then, we just had so many problems. plus, it was hard, because im a feminist right? i believe in equality, like TRULY believe in equality. i feel like women should be paid the same, men can cook and clean too. women are not slaves. ANYWAYS. we had so many stand points where his views where either just straight up misogyny or homophobic. like women on women okay, you may think thats hot but WAIT men on men? HOW DARE YOU how dare you… im just saying, love who you love you know. it’s just we were so toxic. then in the beginning of the relationship you have that stupid ass honeymoon stage. i fell and i fell so hard. i actually fell IN LOVE. then 2 years later we broke up. i miss love, i miss the feeling of someone actually caring and loving me. it’s legit because i can’t love myself no matter how much i INTENSELY try,
i need thearpy.
anyways it’s currently 4:30 in the morning and i have to be up at 7 then i got to go to school then i have to be home around 3. then im taking a nap. so i have to be up for a max of 12 more hours. i got this, im just going to chug a shit ton of redbull and prob get a heart attack.