Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Yes

It little complicated
I’m small town boy , graduated from nit

my arranged marriage got fixed 1 week ago ,i was cool about that time
but after this week , I’m feeling anxiety of what else could have happened i could have found a another one

so my problem I’m not feeling comfertable about what happened and i keep Overthinking about what could have happened

Why? You’re not happy with her?

I’m happy with her but still have lots of doubt in mind which i had not when we have fixed the rishta

but still I’m getting constant thought about the other proposal ( like one person has suggested one girl ,she was engineer )

I’ve seen this girl from long time ,but she is very shy about all of this

if don’t understand my thoughts sorry , I’m not sure what I’m writing

Did someone force you to marry at the age you’re now? Bcs what Im thinking is that you were not ready to get marry but u just did-

not exactly forced ,but something like that ,

I’m 22 and in our community everyone get married in this age only
btw I’m software developer at big mnc and passout of well known IIT

look i had two options

1. marry a well educated girl who is doing job and from big city and who can blend with me really well

1. or marry girl from village who can support my parents,like get comfertable with everyone
,my parents are not very educated they have given for me ,they were going on daily wage ( 300/day ) to support my education

so i have thinked about my parents and choose second option

but now I’m not feeling very comfortable about this

so I’m very confused in this 2 situation

I’m sure I’ll teach her everything i could,but I’m not if she will adapt it or not

please help me out to clear my thoughts

it is common in our community in get married around age of 21-22

Ok I understand your situation (a lil bit)
What I think is you’re judging her too early. What I mean is yes you should give her some time and make her understand everything, like how you want things to be- and how should she react n all whatever you feel like she’s lacking you can teach her. It’s not her fault right? Neither yours…!! So just give it a try…!

And try to open up with her… She’s your life partner afterall, you both have to spend whole life with eachother ahead. Would be great if u maintain a healthy relationship with her…!!

Yes she is totally very good

she is very kind,i have known her from my childhood,

( this will never happen ever )but lets say i we ever had fight in life ,she Will be first person to understand the situation and forgive me for my mistake also

but after all this positives about her

my mind is not stopping thinking about option 1 if i had married a more educated girl ,it would have been great like that

so I’m feeling like I’m not happy with what happened, I’m thinking about what could have happened if had choosen option 1

Okay suppose that you had married that engineer girl… what if she refuse to live with your parents? and think of them as a burden? ( Like im not judging it but I’ve seen a lot of cases like this I’m just giving an example it’s never gonna happen anyway)
Would it be ok with u? Obviously not…!
Think more positive of what u have rn…don’t complain about smth you don’t or couldn’t have , hmm?

Yes I’ve thought the same way ,
and choosen the options one

but still overthinking about everything

can you suggest something stop overthinking
and running the things which is happening right now

What im trying say is the option you had were either -make yourself happy
Or make you parents happy
And im so proud of u that u prioritised your parents first, but u see the girl you’ve married could be a villager but I think she can understand you and your parents both. Just teach her …! Your thoughts won’t go if u keep thinking about another option you had-

Yes I’ve seen lots of cases like that ,
so that’s why i was not very comfertable with marrying engineer girl ,

Thanks for the talk ,this has given me some type of relief

Maybe you can have a talk about it with you wife? And just clear up things with her… Maybe she can comfort u. Or else with someone u trust the most? But let it out whatever thoughts crossing your mind and been tangled up there.

The pleasure is all mine. Im glad I helped u somehow…!

we are not married yet ,its like only rishata has been fixed

sure I can talk with my close friends,but I’m feeling pressure of being judged

Don’t share with someone you think will judge u-

oh so it’s soon to be wife* im sorry i mistook it

Ohkay Thanks for the help

Now it’s feeling good ,i should see positive sides only

if i think positive I’ll see positive in everything and if i think negative in everything

Thanks for helping out ,

surely I’ll try talk about it with my close friend and we have been though hell lot of things

Thank you

It’s Ok <3 we all are her just to help each other, no? That’s what I did ! Hope you’ll have a great life ahead …!

Yes

It little complicated
I’m small town boy , graduated from nit

my arranged marriage got fixed 1 week ago ,i was cool about that time
but after this week , I’m feeling anxiety of what else could have happened i could have found a another one

so my problem I’m not feeling comfertable about what happened and i keep Overthinking about what could have happened

See!! Jab bhi we start something new
This happens…
And marriage is bout yo whole life… So it’s normal that you’re lil anxious
Stay strong… And cope up with your mind… And see clear pictures

I hope things go well:)))

Yes That I’m understanding

but still I’m not able to clear my head and see

I’ll you more about it
btw I’m software developer at big mnc and passout of well known IIT

look i had two options

1. marry a well educated girl who is doing job and from big city and who can blend with me really well

1. or marry girl from village who can support my parents,like get comfertable with everyone ,my parents are not very educated they have given for me ,they were going on daily wage (300/day) to support my education

so i have thinked about my parents and choose second option

but now I’m not feeling very comfortable about this,the girl is very very shy

so I’m very confused in this 2 situation

I’m sure she will be conferred in alter stage her everything i could, but I’m not if she will adapt it or not

please help me out to clear my thoughts

You’ve two ways right
Ek ki tum aapne baare me sochlo… Aur second is tum aapne parents ke baare me sochlo

So see… Ik you’re quite educated as you’re an iitian but… Think about your parents once cause ig… See… Village ki girls are shyd… Lekin after marriage maybe vo… Normal ho jaye
And plus I’ll say think about your parents first… Prioritize them
And ask them ki vo kya chahte hai… And plus tell them bout your opinions too

So the thing is I’ve thinked lot about it and choose village girl for rishta

i was so positive about it for week ,but after 1 week i have started to doubt my decision

that why it giving lot of anxiety to me

Hello There ,

Can you suggest some things to clear out my mind !!

It’s okay buddy!!
I told ya… Anxious hoga
Try talking to her…and get her know well
I hope knowing each other helps you:))))

Okay

Thank for help buddy