Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Anonymous

Normal
I cant draw , Ive lost my way , I dont even know what im drawing for . Is it for fun? fame? Or perhaps interest? . As i keep thinking about it makes me want to forget all about it . And this happen when i play games too , the more time i put into it , the more that i dont wanna even play it anymore . I dont have anything to do , no goals , no relationship , no friends . Im empty , as normal as it is . Im basically a human vessel that is empty inside . Work? I can work more harder than anyone when i do it yet , im still nothing . I still have my family , i do love them but sometimes , the word β€œsuicide” come across my mind , multiple times . All i have done is just wasting my time , being lazy , a burden to my family . I got bullied , i have a weak body , im not popular and when i was a kid , i do get abused by my dad (its not that serious , just a lot of bruises) . And there i hope someday that somehow , a person , can get me out of this but i feel like theres no hope . Its pointless . I tried to kill myself but in the end , i cant . I dont plan to die , i dont have a reason for it.

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11 replies
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Amrinderpreet @youareimportant

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Can i ask how old you are? And what are you doing currently like a student/done study?

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Anonymous
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Im 15-20 yrs old , im not a student nor do i have done my study .

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Amrinderpreet @youareimportant

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In general, I think its ok to fail couple times in life, losing interest in things is common when things doesn’t work the way you expect them to work.
Whats making you stop? Why don’t you start teaching art to others to divert your attention for a little bit and you can get yours back while doing so.
Practise meditation to calm yourself down.

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Anonymous
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Ive stopped drawing because i dont what im drawing for . I cant teach anyone too . And i cant calm myself anymore , ive done that multiple times , do you think what ive been through is normal? (I dont know because every person have different perspective) .

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Amrinderpreet @youareimportant

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To the sound of it, its ok to stop and start again in life. Since its covid-19 time, is there anything that you can do from home to learn something or to teach art as you said that you used to draw?
Anything that helps you to prove yourself, not others, that you are great and you are doing hard work until you succeed.

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Anonymous
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Well , i can cook , but my sibling keeps eating it and i dont have the chance to eat it (about 20 times to be exact) . And im not that great actually , i did tried to prove myself but what im doing was actually not my idea , i just saw people’s drawing and perfectly copying it , i dont say its mine but i feel like im just doing copy and paste with no pure ideas put into my drawing

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Amrinderpreet @youareimportant

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I cant put the word normal for this to happen, but its ok. I know so many people that were so off track because of failures from all the sides.
But they never lost their hope, tried to be good in one thing that can help them to build a path for success. Don’t think about all the negative stuff and begin from somewhere positive.

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Anonymous
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You do have a point , all i have been thinking is actually about all negative stuff and i do want to think about the positive ones . But , after what ive been through , i can hardly think about it .

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Amrinderpreet @youareimportant

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I understand how hard it is going to be…for thinking positive stuff. But you gotta do it for your betterment. Try to even think of any one and begin from there.
Try putting your feeling, emotions in your drawing rather than copy and paste. Or cooking food as you said and tell your sibling to share. Talk to them rather than expecting it from them that they are going to save it or share it with you.

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Anonymous
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Ok thank you , ill figure it out somehow with my drawing . Maybe i lack of ideas of the outside world . And as for cooking , i dont think theyll share it , tho it does give me a smile that they have enjoy it . Thank you , i appreciate it!

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Amrinderpreet @youareimportant

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No problem, and feel free to talk here:)
You are important and just wait for the right time to come when things will get sorted out.

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