Never thought I’d actually get depression from finishing a chapter from a game. It’s just a stupid gacha game, but the story just completely broke me apart. Two best friends ended up being their enemies and the story still doesn’t end there.

Back to me, I lost most of my friends after secondary school ended because of a mistake I made. Now the entire students in the school including the alumni know about what I did, and almost everywhere I go, I’m feeling constantly judged by the people surrounding me. And that is fine by me, I need to own up to my mistake. But only recently, my relationship with my best friend is going poorly. He’s starting to ignore me more and more, and only try to find me when he’s in trouble.

I used to think that he’s busy because of working every day. But it doesn’t really make sense now as there will always be free time at least 5 minutes in a day to even reply to me. When we have a chance to meet up, he always talked shit behind one of our friend’s back, and I think he’s talking shit to me with his co-workers. I’m starting to think that he’s a fake. My relationship with my best friend who I grew up 11 years with is just bullshit. Or maybe he changed and growing more narcissistic each day.

How do I completely remove someone from my life? I’m ready to let him go, I don’t want to get involved in a toxic friendship anymore. I’m sick of being cheerful when he clearly isn’t happy with my existence in his life.

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I am worthless

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