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βš•οΈDepression

πŸ§‘Anxiety

😰Stress

πŸ’—Relationships

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β€ΊFamilyβ€ΊThought

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Anonymous

My sister has been divorced for 2 years now and a distant relative keeps pushing my parents to get her married as soon as possible for β€œmy secured future πŸ˜’β€ and I don’t have to think about me getting married for years rught now but she keeps on telling my parents how that will affect me and well my sister did make a mistake in the past that still costs her in terms of the trust of our parents and the relative. I took a break from studying for a year and now I’m always at my house and so whenever she comes the only single thing she wants to talk about is how we should basically get rid of this marriage and get this all over with. My mother has way more doubts about my sister and she may be right but what if she’s not! She’s basically pushing her own daughter away on the words of a person who favours her own doubts. Right now my sister’s put on a bit if weight so now whenever my relative comes to the house which is every week, she says that my sister needs to loose weight and my sister is already trying to losse weight but it’s not going to magically just disappear and going to gym and then leaving is what out the weight on in the first place so gym is not an option available to her and now my mother says that what if my sister’s not actually trying hard enough to loose the weight and just pretending and I got fed up because my sister has tried to reassure my mother but my mother just won’t accept the facts and everytime that the relative comes I get upset because I know she is just going to talk about one thing and if it were happening a bit less I could possibly take it but I just can not keep listening to this again and again and she even thinks that it’s amazing that I still trust my own sibling still after every past thing she’s done and I just don’t understand how anyone can tell me how or how much I should be trusting my very own sibling who is obviously a huge part of my life, I mean I can’t even stay mad at her for a full hour and I’m expected to completely detach myself because of what she did in the past. Also I can’t tell anyone about how this is hurting me of even affecting me because I can’t really tell anyone about this not even my best friend because of the fact that I told them about every single one of my family dramas that they got so fed up with me telling every little inconvenience that they realised how selfish I had become and I stopped telling them unless I had to share. I don’t hate my relative and her daughter is the joy of my life but everytime she comes it gets harder to accept that she’s doing this all just out of love.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @sriman
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9 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @sriman

Sri @sriman

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Stop for a moment.

Did you just laugh or smiled, without Thmi ya out sister, mother, weight loss and all things wrong with this world…

This present moment is yours, enjoy this free air and sunshine

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Anonymous
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I can stop thinking about it and it does feel good for a moment but then again a day later the same thing happens and I’m tired of going through this and I’ve even told them to not involve me in this talk but it’s like they don’t even listen and if the do they don’t care.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @sriman

Sri @sriman

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Words are powerless. At least our families have deaf ears to them.

Speak with your action. Do not respond to them. Use your silence to observe them

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
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Anonymous
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I tried being silent but then my relative won’t stop asking me why I was not speaking and then I said I have nothing to say and she goes well I’m not going to stop until she(my sister)gets married and I can do nothing to stop her from talking about it everytime she visits and she said this to me infront of my mother and that’s it. My mother said nothing.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @sriman

Sri @sriman

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Experiment for a day.

Change your behaviour, for a day make them uncomfortable with your silence, stare and don’t speak, don’t address them… do things that makes this unusual.

Keep your observation sharp. Note all changes in their tone, words also how do they deal with this changes

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Anonymous
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You are doing great by supporting your sis even after what have happened.you are a smart person so be there for her and most relatives are like that they only want problem so keep doing what you think is best .

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