My sister has been divorced for 2 years now and a distant relative keeps pushing my parents to get her married as soon as possible for βmy secured future πβ and I donβt have to think about me getting married for years rught now but she keeps on telling my parents how that will affect me and well my sister did make a mistake in the past that still costs her in terms of the trust of our parents and the relative. I took a break from studying for a year and now Iβm always at my house and so whenever she comes the only single thing she wants to talk about is how we should basically get rid of this marriage and get this all over with. My mother has way more doubts about my sister and she may be right but what if sheβs not! Sheβs basically pushing her own daughter away on the words of a person who favours her own doubts. Right now my sisterβs put on a bit if weight so now whenever my relative comes to the house which is every week, she says that my sister needs to loose weight and my sister is already trying to losse weight but itβs not going to magically just disappear and going to gym and then leaving is what out the weight on in the first place so gym is not an option available to her and now my mother says that what if my sisterβs not actually trying hard enough to loose the weight and just pretending and I got fed up because my sister has tried to reassure my mother but my mother just wonβt accept the facts and everytime that the relative comes I get upset because I know she is just going to talk about one thing and if it were happening a bit less I could possibly take it but I just can not keep listening to this again and again and she even thinks that itβs amazing that I still trust my own sibling still after every past thing sheβs done and I just donβt understand how anyone can tell me how or how much I should be trusting my very own sibling who is obviously a huge part of my life, I mean I canβt even stay mad at her for a full hour and Iβm expected to completely detach myself because of what she did in the past. Also I canβt tell anyone about how this is hurting me of even affecting me because I canβt really tell anyone about this not even my best friend because of the fact that I told them about every single one of my family dramas that they got so fed up with me telling every little inconvenience that they realised how selfish I had become and I stopped telling them unless I had to share. I donβt hate my relative and her daughter is the joy of my life but everytime she comes it gets harder to accept that sheβs doing this all just out of love.
Sri @sriman
Stop for a moment.
Did you just laugh or smiled, without Thmi ya out sister, mother, weight loss and all things wrong with this worldβ¦
This present moment is yours, enjoy this free air and sunshine
I can stop thinking about it and it does feel good for a moment but then again a day later the same thing happens and Iβm tired of going through this and Iβve even told them to not involve me in this talk but itβs like they donβt even listen and if the do they donβt care.
Sri @sriman
Words are powerless. At least our families have deaf ears to them.
Speak with your action. Do not respond to them. Use your silence to observe them
I tried being silent but then my relative wonβt stop asking me why I was not speaking and then I said I have nothing to say and she goes well Iβm not going to stop until she(my sister)gets married and I can do nothing to stop her from talking about it everytime she visits and she said this to me infront of my mother and thatβs it. My mother said nothing.
Sri @sriman
Experiment for a day.
Change your behaviour, for a day make them uncomfortable with your silence, stare and donβt speak, donβt address themβ¦ do things that makes this unusual.
Keep your observation sharp. Note all changes in their tone, words also how do they deal with this changes
You are doing great by supporting your sis even after what have happened.you are a smart person so be there for her and most relatives are like that they only want problem so keep doing what you think is best .