My parents saw a boy’s profile for an arranged marriage. Both families met once. When I talked to the guy over call, i didn’t like his thinking upon some matters. When I told him that in future, i might leave my job and would like to focus on family, to which his response was quite negative. I felt like, he just wants to rule the relationship.
Now, I have told my parents that I do not wish to consider his profile. My parents do not want to confront his parents and are asking me to do it.
How do I politely reject him ? I don’t want him to feel anything negative about me or my family.
Aman @me_parth
Just say to your parents that you don’t feel good about this relationship so it’s better to see other one
I have already told them, but they want me to say it to the guy.
Everything is perfect, his parents, home, education… it’s me who is rejecting him
According to my parents, If I’m not willing to consider his profile…i should tell him
Aman @me_parth
So tell him directly that you don’t feel good and your vibes are not matching
He will be asking me questions like…what happened, what things you didn’t like…or let’s talk over…or discuss
Aman @me_parth
So give a chance to it Maybe you will like him and your doubt will be cleared
No
I was never into his profile since starting. It was my parents who forced me to meet his parents, just because everything seems good and they lived near our house
Aman @me_parth
So give a chance atleast
Chance as in?
Actually, i never liked his profile. Even after talking to him, i didn’t feel freedom of speech. My words were all filtered. He didn’t seem nice. Felt like, he just wants to rule…no adjustments.
Aman @me_parth
Then just say directly to him Even if he feel bad it’s okay You are choosing best for you
Thanks
I’m hoping, I’m not doing anything wrong
Aman @me_parth
No you are not doing wrong It’s good that you know what you want
Regretting after marriage is way worse than understanding before
Then say something like, I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel I have freedom of choice and I don’t feel I will be supported going forward. Don’t think too much as there’s only so much sugar coating you can do and it might be a bitter pill to swallow. Good luck.
Yes
marriage is your decision
do you want to marry ?
whom do you want to marry ?
your parents can only advice you
you are alone in this decision
your friends can advice you
it is better you don’t Marry
untill it is not your decision /you are not absolutely sure about it
who you want to live with is your decision
don’t fear
don’t let anybody force you
if they get angry it is their problem
it is not because you did anything wrong
I think you should not marry someone unless you love him
without love it will be a disaster
parents,home,education is not enough,
you have to love someone if you want to spend your whole life with him
Thanks 🙏🏻
Rahul Agarwal @vijay231
Just Say it … there’s nothing wrong if you reject him … you both might deserve better partners
Yeah
But, what to say ?
Give me some suggestions, which are formal and polite.
Rahul Agarwal @vijay231
Negative like. .?.. he doesn’t want you to leave the job or about anything else ?
Yes, he doesn’t want me to leave my job. According to him, girls should not sit idle at home, then they are not justifying their education.
Even when I mentioned him that it is a girl’s choice to whatever she wants to do, his reply was ,then she will never succeed in her life.
Rahul Agarwal @vijay231
Is that the only issue??
Not only this.
His thinking is what I didn’t like.
I asked, if given a job opportunity, will he be willing to move out of house? His answer was straight NO.
I asked him, that my office is quite far from your house, how will I manage everything! It will take me whole day. 2-3hours of travelling (one way), then 9hrs of office. There will be no life for me. To which his reply was to just change my job.
I even asked, after marriage, many couples initially tend to stay away or near parents house, for better understanding and create companionship. To which he said, i will never move away from my parents.
He knows, I’m only daughter, still he never mentioned my parents. That he will take care of them.
Rahul Agarwal @vijay231
Then just say him that your thoughts do not match and so you can’t marry him … this is enough . No more explanation is needed
Rahul Agarwal @vijay231
Just say him what you feel good or bad about his thoughts better to tell him and his family clearly that you r not interested. The more time you take the more difficult it gets … as well in one call you cannot judge the complete person as good or bad …
thanks ! :)
if he feels bad initially its okay
he will understand
you felt like “he wants to rule the relationship”
you have to stand up for yourself
just say that it is not meant to be
,you don’t feel like marrying him
he will accept
thanks! :)
RISHU KASHYAP @cheesecream
I don’t think he’s gonna take even your polite rejection… politely… politeness comes with your behaviour and voice …just be straight and say ur not ready for this marriage… keeping ur voice and behaviour polite…if they ask for reasons then give them…
thanks! :)
Exploring @amy_hahah
Hey, marriage is a crucial matter, don’t just marry anyone just because someone would think negatively about it
If in the beginning only, u don’t like him, reject him
Just imagine living with that person for ur whole life…
And they way u said, ig divorce is also taken negatively in many places
So what do u think about this??
Rejecting that person? Living with him for ur entire life? Or marrying and then divorcing him??
Maybe talking and knowing eachother would help u understand eachother
But if u don’t like him
Don’t marry him
right
thanks! :)
you are thinking about him
thinking that he should not feel negative
you are not thinking about yourself
you have so much love
you have so less ego
you are different
he is different
think about yourself when taking decision about marriage
if you will be happy then
everyone will be happy
otherwise no one will be happy
true
thanks! :)
so what
Sorry?
Appu Kannan @rajiv_ryan9
Be bold and tell to your parents. This is life matter. Have no fear. Just tell whatever in your mind
If you don’t like him don’t marry him and for best Or for worst do tell what your feel and marry the one whom you like. Don’t go under the assumption that you may like him after marriage.
correct
thanks! :)
Sejal @sejal12
If you don’t like it then say no sometimes you have to be straight forward with this matters yeah it hurt others too but don’t compromise your life for something u r not interested in
you are right ! :)
