My parents recently adopted twin girls from South Korea. We brought them back to America, and I hate them both. They’re 2, so I shouldn’t, but they always cry when I’m around. I may just be too noisy or scary (I usually have that affect on kids, if I don’t charm them), but I honestly think they despise me.
I told my parents, and they told me it was just jealousy. It may just be, but I began to fear for my sanity yesterday. I was looking at them as though they were part of an art show, and suddenly, I had an urge to pluck out all of their hair. I had pulled out three strands from the older twin when my mom came in on the account of her crying.
I don’t know what to do with these kids and my feelings. I’m 12, I love kids, and I graduated from a babysitting class recently. I have no clue what to do.
Baby’s do cry all day. It’s normal and has nothing to do with you or your presence. Some people have the knack of handling kids and it’s not necessary that you do too. It’s completely fine and reasonable.
However, think why do you wish to puck baby’s hair and is it for fun or you actually feel like plucking because of their crying problem or not liking your twins? If the answer is the latter one, it should be of concern. I agree with new kids we get jealous because parents attention diverts to them more but its’ called life. They are small they need more attention than you. When you were small you got the whole attention, right? With time things get back to as it was, just try to either stay away so that you don’t feel disturbed or have a liking for them slowly.
Your reaction seems pretty natural. If you google something like “babies crying worst sound” or “babies crying annoying” you’ll find that this has been something that people have noted for a long time and even various scientists have investigated the issue. Babies voices have incredible power to annoy and irritate us, your parents are probably better at coping, but it’s totally understandable that you’d be annoyed or even get angry or feel like it’s making you insane.
You just have to train yourself to overcome the urge to hurt them, because I’m sure you don’t really want to do that when you sit back and think about it. It’s just a sort of natural physical reaction people have to annoying sounds. Like when my mom used to wake me up for school with her nagging. “Shut upppppp mom!!” throws pillow at her 😜
Try to keep in mind the babies will eventually stop crying so often, it’s just a phase. Being adopted they’re probably more prone to cry because they had a mum to be close with and feel safe but suddenly they’re away from their biological mum and that causes people to be distressed more easily, even if they have a new mum and dad.
Try to be patient, or try to find something you can do like go into another room and listen to some music on headphones for a while, you could ask your parents for some noise cancelling headphones like AirPods Pro which are really good at drowning out noises like that. Or even punch a pillow or go do something physically active outside to burn off that angry tension feeling.
So don’t feel too guilty about cutting their hair but try your best not to do it again and try to find a way to avoid the crying when you can. Before long they’ll start to be less annoying and you’ll probably actually enjoy having them around!
Thank you both. I asked my parents for headphones, and they’re coming in the mail tomorrow!