Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

My parents have always been through a troubled marriage, it has affected me since I was a child. I’m in the merchant navy so for the past 2 years I’ve been at home giving my exams. Last month my father started hitting my mother when I wasn’t home and she begged and cried for us to move, she has always supported me so I thought that I should too. Things got out of hand because he didn’t want to talk and I unintentionally hit him when he straight away grabbed my mother’s throat. I want to clarify that this isn’t the first time that it came to physical harrasment on my mother and I couldn’t bear it. Through a mutual discussion with a lawyer , they agreed that he will not do anything ever again. My mom, me and my younger brother (13 y/o) decided that we’ll live together and my father went to my grandparents house. Since I was preparing for my exams, my mother told me to stay out of this and I did. From what I assume, she started thinking that she will not have a companion anymore and my father being the cunning man that he is, apologises and today my mom allowed him to come home. I feel helpless and broken. Especially from my mother who has stopped talking to me. She somehow believes that I was the culprit who took out his revenge on my father. Yes, I didn’t like him and have been detached for a long long time. But the hitting was unintentional to which at that time, my mother was proud of, is now blaming me. I don’t have a single penny to my name that I could go anywhere but she is not admitting that she provoked me to hit my own father. I’m confused as to who is more wrong? And helpless as to what me and brother should do? I really really can’t afford therapy for myself and my brother. I will be back on the ship in 1-2 months time my brother will be stuck here.