Thought

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Anonymous

My parents are hurting me mentally. Their words and behavior is mentally affecting me. Though they are not doing it on purpose. But they are also ready to accept that what they are doing will affect me. I grew up like this. But now I want to be independent and make my own choices. But they are not letting me. They are emotionally blackmailing me. They are too much concerned about society so they are not scared and holding me back.
I want to marry the guy I love but they are not respecting my choice because he belongs to different state, caste, religion. But we are in love from 2 years. Parents are trying to stop me by saying emotional things like, we will die if you leave, you are killing us etc.
My mom is emotionally not stable. So I am scared to even sit and talk. If i talk it ends up in a fight and she screams and does weird stuff. Even by elder brother is taking their side.
They stopped me from working also (have done M.E. and was working in IT services). Now I am stuck in home affected by their emotional drama and not able to do anything.
The guys family is ready to talk but my parents are not ready to meet them. I don’t know how to convince them. I can’t marry him without my family’s support because it will tear the family and might end very bad. I want to convince them somehow. Can someone give some ideas.

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1 reply
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Anonymous

Sorry to hear that. They’re being unreasonable, and I wish I had a solution for you other than live your own life. You are an educated brilliant human being who shouldn’t hold themselves back, career-wise or in life. I don’t know if ultimatums from your end will work or not, but sometimes one has to end up upsetting a few people for one’s happiness, and that’s not selfish. They’ll probably come around. Nonetheless, you shouldn’t leave any opportunity to strike a conversation and understand why they’re so against the idea, and you must put across your points logically. Ultimately it all comes down to whether you choose to avoid or abandon your dreams and your partner for the sake of your family’s whims (given that there’s isn’t much of a valid reason as to why they’re against you working or getting married to that guy) or live your life because life is meant to move forward. I know it sounds easier to say than to do because you’d rather have them understand things and give their blessings and be happy for you. But life can be unfair sometimes like that, so you really have to make some tough choices at times.

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