Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

My mum triggers me all the time. We have prayers at home tomorrow and we were supposed to go out today to get the things needed for the prayers. How the whole issue started is I was having breakfast and I told my mum that my elder brother msged me at 5am asking for 10$ and my mum got mad at me and said why I didn’t wake her up to transfer her money or why I didn’t give him money. The thing is I don’t even have a dollar with me to give him and I saw the message only in the morning after I woke up and she started going off on me for this during breakfast. The prayers we are supposed to do is actually for my vows. The whole incident pissed me off so I just said I’m not going shopping and I’m not doing the prayers and I don’t care anymore Mata Rani can punish me. I’m already suffering so why not from god as well right? So I’m crying in my room right now wondering why I’m always the problem