My mother has a big gambling problem. I wish she can stop but idk what to say. Everything is in gods hand not saying it his fault I’m saying we all have karma. 

3am Thoughts

Feeling lazy and irritated, don’t ask what happened 

Anxiety

my mom tries to help mental health problems but she really really doesn't and usually ends up making things worse, i love her very much but anytime that i try to bring up something she did that wasn't good or that hurts more than helps she goes oh no i'm such a horrible mom i knew i was a failure etc. i don't tell her lots of things because of that, and when i do try she just lectures me and try's to pin all my problems on a single source when that's not how it works and that source isn't the reason at all, i don't know what to do with her cause i'm pretty closed off when it comes to my emotions when i'm talking with her and she always goes why are you sad and i just say i'm tired cause i never sleep good so it's a valid excuse. but i'm not sad i just don't know what to do with her

Family

Last night i had fight with my mom over using phone and i raised my voice..she got hurt and stopped talking to me. I tried apologise with my mom but she is not even ready to talk..and i feel like i lost the whole world and ended up this way😭😭

Lonely

So i am not sure what problem does my mom has with me .. I guess she is toxic and narcisstic .. So often everytime she judges me for everything and makes me feel low always tells me on every single thing dont do this your will mess it up. Dont give her some work she will ruin it. I am looking to buy a phone and for that also she commented you wont be able to handle a good phone you will damage it everything falls from your hand.. She just constantly Goes on and always blames me for small to big thingss I am fed.

Frustration

I struggle a lot with the thoughts in my head. Some days they are so loud so I will spend hours just zoned out to music in an attempt to drown them out, and it still doesn’t work. And there are days when everything is so quiet and it seems like there is nothing there. As I’ve grown up, I got in trouble a lot for saying things when I got upset or having my feelings invalidated often, so I guess it became a habit to block out all internal thoughts when I get upset. And now I get in trouble for not saying things when I’m upset. There have been several times when I’ve been frustrated or sad and my mom has asked about what’s on my mind and when I answer honestly, I get lectured on how “that’s not the case” or “you must be hiding something because you aren’t being honest”. There are even times where I’ll share something I feel with my mom, like how I don’t want to get pregnant and birth kids, but that I’d rather adopt, and then she comes in strong and says all sorts of things that completely invalidate my opinion and make it seem like she doesn’t even care because she’ll argue with me and call me out for “not wanting to give her grandchildren”. It has gotten to the point where I don’t feel like I can even tell her about anything anymore for the fear that she will just turn it into a way to belittle me. And I now she expects great things from me, but I feel like I’m slowly drowning under her expectations. I don’t know what to do because the last time I talked to her about this she just got mad at me because “she didn’t know where this was coming from” and her “thoughts on what was expected from me was completely reasonable” when in reality they really were not… I just want a break to figure out how to make myself better…

Life

My mother always taunts me that I'll never find a good husband or spouse
She always states I'm "manglikk"
Wth does that mean?
She always says my sister is luckier for her

i really hate when people be like “that’s still your mom”  I DONT CARE  she’s horrible and my number one bully

Like I'm back to square 1
It took me so long to repair my relationship with my
For me accept that my mom doesn't like that I do belly dancing, that she doesn't see my videos or come to my performances 
Today she called and told she found a guy and I actually was looking forward to talking to him she asked me not mention that I have learnt belly dance..
And tell him that I used to do it and I won't do it anymore. This is just unfair... I feel like she spoilt my whole year coz I'm going to have to recover from this for the rest of the year now 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts