Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

my most recent ex used to hit my butt in front of his friends and laugh, and since i got prettier since the end of 7th grade, all the boys started sxualizing me. back at my old school something happened at a park. every time a boy grabs me too hard, or talks about my body, i go home and think about it. i can basically feel his hands all over my body. he touched places that nobody else has touched and it feels like he claimed it. i feel like its not my body, its his. he never admitted to it, but at school he would walk past me when i was close to a wall and grab my waist. it kept reminding me that my body belongs to him. he owns me. its not my body its his. im nowhere near him anymore but i know it still belongs to him. he was a nice guy to everyone else, so i seemed crazy. but him and i knew the truth. he told them i gave him a handy, i cheated on my ex with him and somebody else, and i begged for him and it made him uncomfortable. i did beg, but i was hi. and when i asked him to stop he didnt. i dont know why this is happening over a year later, but i feel like every male is just hungry for my body now. i feel like they all want to bite and rip me to shreds. i dont want it to be this way for the rest of my life. sometimes i just want to crawl into a hole in die. why is this happening so early in my life. i always knew it would happen, tiny moments in my life were similar to this, but this early? i dont know what to do anymore