My mom started cheating on my dad when I was still 4 years old, back then I didn’t know what cheating was and was confused why I shouldn’t tell my dad that there was some guy living under the same roof as we do, not even a relative but just a mere stranger. My dad lived and worked out of the country and comes home every 3 years. When I was still young I used to hang around with him a lot, basically a daddy’s girl. But when I started to grow up and finally understood our situation, I hated myself and would be disgusted at what I see in the mirror. I never talked to him again since I would always tell myself back then that I was too shameless to do that. If I would tell him then who knows what would happen to our family, either my dad would leave us and my mom would blame me my entire life for what happened. I planned to tell my dad when I turn 18 and have a stable job incase something happens but he died when I was 16 and up until now that I’m 17, I’m still feeling guilty about it and I hate my mother for it. I want to run away but I know that my mom would say that I am being selfish and ungrateful especially that we are financially struggling and they are starting to say that “oh when she turns 18 and have a job then we won’t have any financial problems anymore”. And it makes me feel guilty that I wanted to run away but still, I want to run away and heal myself. My emotions and thoughts are valid right? I don’t think they are ridiculous like what my mom said.
Hey dont overthink the situation. Everything happens bcz of some reasons. Dont blame yourself for not telling your father abt mother’s cheating. It is not your fault. Maybe it was written by God that your father will not know abt this situation in his life. Just stay positive and focus on your future.