My mom has always been a very toxic person, and I never had my dad because he passed away when I was really young. My mom ruined my mental health. She always made me feel so unworthy. She would tell me that no one was gonna want me. There were times when she would also make fun of my weight. I am heavier but I’m not fat. We never got along we were constantly arguing. I never had a childhood mainly because my innocence was taken from me at a very young age. Although one guy who molested me is now in prison, I was also molested by two other men. I told my mom and aunt (The two main adults in my life) about the second one and they pretty much made me say that I lied. So when the last guy did it I never spoke about it in fear that I would never be believed. I recently moved away from my mom. However, in my mind, I am still in that toxic environment. I’m still being constantly yelled at. I’m still being put down, and I am still being made to feel worthless. This is my first holiday away from my family, and I think it’s really taking a toll on me. Not only that but I feel like my partner is hiding something from me. I also have to find a job FAST which was just thrown at me unexpectedly. I’m just tired of fighting. Idk what to do anymore. My heart hurts.
Thank you so much. I did go to therapy. I had a really great one and then my mom decided she didn’t like him and made me get a new one. The thing is she was working with my mom as well and told her everything that I said. She never believed anything I said. I’ve never really had someone who just actually listened to me, and heard what I had to say or even tried to understand why I am the way that I am. It’s not even like I was a bad child. I cooked, I cleaned, I had all A’s, and was in BETA. I NEVER went out. The only thing I’ve ever asked for is for someone to hear me.
I pretty much aired it all out but I’m open to being friends. Maybe I will get a new therapist soon.
Thanks a ton
