My love for her wasn’t delusional , 
It was something disguised ,
Although it looked beautiful,
Its a poison eating at me slowly .


Poetry

since october 2021, i have been struggling with sort of anorexia and lost a lot if weight from starving myself. when my mom git really concerned i stopped and tried to recover, but since then i just go from periods of binging to feeling extremely guilty and starving again just to fall back. i cant eat normally anymore and destroyed my relationship with food. i would get help, but im not even underweight yet. i wouldnt even know what to get help for. im just so unhappy. i wish i was thinner or was able to starve without binging again. or atleast fix my relationship with food, but i feel like its hopeless

Anorexia

Does depression gonaway automatically just like it was a phase.

Depression

I am a NEET aspirant and a dropper too.
I don't understand why am I not able to get a good score and a rank.I went through hell lot of things before I took drop while i was in my college.i studied so hard.but couldn't make it to a medical college.
Basically I was the topper till my 10th grade.But when I entered a residential institute for my PU,my score went down drastically.I couldn't recover.I had some issues with mental health too.Somehow I managed to score 92% in boards.But in neet I got private seat for which I couldn't afford so much of money,I dropped.
And now the people in my coaching class,their score has increased like anything,while I couldn't.i am still trying.Last year my score were below average but now it is above average.But I wanna score like a topper.i need some help.can anyone suggest?

Stress

I am not feeling that great. Life seems to be going on in the same loop. I wake up try to figure out ways to be productive I try to be but I get lost along the day. I have tried explaining to people they just say become mentally strong all this is nothing you are not working hard. I know I am not but that's the loop. Plus I believe I am addicted to binge watching just to get my self to stop feeling this way. This feeling of either pain or emptiness. I told my friends thinking they might understand. They did they were sympathetic for a week and soon they forgot all about it. They never checked up on me, asked me how I was doing. Maybe it is wrong of me to expect them of that I don't know. I feel like I have no ambition in life. I don't know who I am or what I want to do. I don't want to die, I feel like it sometimes but then I think of all the experiences I haven't had in life. Like falling in love, having a child, watching northern  lights. RN I just need to get out of this mess I have created with myself. I just wanted someone to know I cried today that's all. 

I'm certain this time. I'll get a lot of INC marks in my subjects. 

College

How could you leave ! 

I always say to people that i hate my birthday but actually i love birthdays but hate when no one does anything for me like i give surprises to everyone but no one does anything on mine and it hurts so bad . I haven't celebrated my birthday from last 3 years and bow I'll be 18 so I decided to celebrate but i was talking to one important person in life and she said that she can't make it to my birthday . I have always been there for her . I am just hurt . Like why can't i have gifts and surprises for my birthday ever . Even if someone give my teo balloons whole heartedly I would love that but no one does that i am only stupid one who does all that

3am Thoughts

Which feature should this nowandme app give us next what u think

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts