3am Thoughts

I’m alone 
Bcoz no one cares about me neither I 

i woke up today  ...
suddenly
all the 
feelings, desparation , love , craving , caring , anxiety, depression had left my body.
I used to talk...
talk for hours to people who cared... told them every little detail in my life...  
to the second...  
but today... 
instead of sending voice messages of 15 minutes... 
I chose to text.
I typed and typed ... unemotionally ,as if i don't care for them anymore...
as if...
it's a job for me to talk to them... 
i have started seeing the red flags i once ignored..
as if..
I am no longer under the restraints of someone's thoughts.
I am writing this ..  unemotionally too
i have started to accept the truth day by day..  slowly but surely
I do believe something to been have broken inside me...
forever ... and for the better good.
The person who hurt me... isn't gone..  will probably see them the next 4 years.... but ... i just don't care anymore.
and the answer is "yes" to me not feeling for a person anymore.
I am watching youtube nowadays.
I am a software developer and learning to develop apps.
I ..  spend my free time to learn resources.
People don't heal.... i don't think they do
they're just tired of feeling shitty and decide ..  
to not feel pathetic anymore.
....
and yes...
I "WOKE UP" Today.
 ಠ◡ಠ



Love

December 31 , 2022

2022
Thank you for love, happiness,  blessings, loses,  sadness, lessons, failure, accomplishments but mostly , i am grateful for the opportunity to be alive.

2023
I am ready for new experiences, challenges and grateful in advance for everything that is yet to come.

Life

good morning ❤️☀️❤️

Caregiver

How much jealousy is acceptable? 
I have a friend, lets call her A and she has another close friend, B. I am ok with their friendship. But B doesn't like when A and i hangout alone. B has expressed this in many occasions. First i tried to understand like if i had a friend and that friend became close with another person, i would be jealous too. But now i am irritated by her. And unfortunately i have to hangout with her on daily basis. 

College

When she loves me, i feel like i am floating ☁️

boys, just do it -
Tell her why you think she's so cool. pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the water, she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it. Hold her hand and skip or hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her. Go out for the best ice cream in town. Introduce her to your friends as the coolest girl you know. Take her to your favorite spots and restaurants. Write poems about her. Just talk to her and listen closely to every little thing she says. Wink at her in class or in the hallway. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Get her mad, then k!$$ her make her feel beautiful. Then make her feel beautiful the day after that too. And the day after that. give her piggy back rides. Watch her favorite movie even though you think it scks. give her space if she needs it. push her on swings. Take the hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. Make up cool nicknames for her. Have loads of inside jokes with her. Play with her hair. Write her letters. Take her to cool stores, and let her take you to even cooler ones. Let her rant and give her advice. Face her fears with her. If she's sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her. Surprise her with flowers or her favorite foods for no reason. Look into her eves. K!$$ her in the rain.

There's a difference of a hairline between self introspection and self doubt.

Self doubt fosters negative thoughts while self introspection focuses on inner talk on what we can control and what we can't.

Feel free to share your issues - I'm listening.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts