My first kiss was stolen from me
At an age too young for me to understand what it even meant
By a man whose callous strength left bruises in my heart.
25 winters passed, he’s safe and happy in the company of his loved ones, surrounded by wife, kids who love and adore him. He’ll die happily surrounded by his loved ones.
While I am broken, damaged and struggling, scared to even let my heart out
My only friend is my mother, one day she will take her leave and I’ll be left alone with my pills and my demons
I’ll forever be unlovable as i don’t know how to nor do I deserve it, i am just a broken base with a bruised body that no one wants.
No one will hear my plight cause I am a guy.
⚓ @cap_jacksparrow
Hey brother! It doesn’t matter what your gender is, everyone deserves love and respect, tell me what happened with you we will try to figure out something
I don’t, I am too weird and unlovable
⚓ @cap_jacksparrow
Why do you think you are unlovable?
RAMU @rj1993
Am boring, don’t know how to interact, too weird
⚓ @cap_jacksparrow
Everyone has flaws buddy, you can work on it and become the best version of yourself I have read your posts, i understand your problem is kinda different from others but trust me you can deal with it I have been through this
RAMU @rj1993
Currently taking therapy but that’s just one part, it’s hard dealing with all this on my own, some days I am really overwhelmed and can only think negatively. I’ve lost hope and I don’t feel like I am a normal person nor I’ll have a normal life
RAMU @rj1993
My insecurities, mental illness I am ashamed of, feeling hopeless and fed up, don’t feel normal and I am a weirdo, boring to talk to and just a nuisance, not a good friend not even a good human being
⚓ @cap_jacksparrow
I also faced it and you know the worst part was everyone left me alone…you can see now I am all happy… negativity consistent nahi rehti nothing is permanent here not even your negative moments so don’t worry keep working on yourself and soon you’ll be in better position
I would like to give you a suggestion…
Don’t force yourself ki jaldi karna hai be easy be patient and join a yoga class if you can it will help you
⚓ @cap_jacksparrow
Trust me buddy, it’s nothing like that everyone is perfect in their own way you don’t have to be perfect according to societal norms, be a good human according to your own perspective, it’s your life
RAMU @rj1993
I don’t think I am a good human being nor do I deserve a good normal life, mentally ill and a weirdo
RAMU @rj1993
I do pranayama and wim Hoff, also eat a healthy diet but my brain is abnormal, i have delusional thoughts and I am scared everyone is laughing at me cause I am a failure, I’ll end up in some mental care home or in the streets.
RAMU @rj1993
My scars are my shame, my mental illness Is my shame, i don’t have any good qualities nor do I have any talent, no one will even look at someone so flawed like me,i have severe gynophobia and schziophrenia, taking therapy for the former and medicine for the latter, but I just feel defeated and hopeless, i was physically bullied and sexually abused by men and verbally bullied by women, i don’t feel strong or anything. Just fed up, don’t even have a good friend to call and talk to once in a while.
RAMU @rj1993
No one wants to hear me, this is the first post of mine which got some response, I posted yesterday and a few days back and didn’t get any reply, people don’t really care, my problems are a joke and I don’t think anyone actually cares or ever will about me.
RAMU @rj1993
I don’t know what else to do right now, I am at my lowest and kind of desperate for any support but I have too much baggage and no one wants to be friends with someone like me, I’ll be a very boring and weird friend who is of no use to them.
RAMU @rj1993
I am 31, life is over for me, i failed miserably in life and I feel very overwhelmed now, i don’t need any positive encouragement, just someone to talk and listen to me, i made a few friends here and I thought they were genuine and would stick by me but they all left without giving me a valid reason, it makes me feel that I am not a good human being and weird that’s why they left, i don’t see any other reason. I cannot even make a normal conversation with anyone, am not even worthy of friendship.
RAMU @rj1993
I don’t want to keep this struggle anymore, the crippling loneliness is taking a toll on my already diminishing mental health, i am a joke to everyone, nobody cares and I don’t have any friends because I have no value nor any qualities, i don’t deserve love or anything good in life.
RAMU @rj1993
I have been writing a journal everyday for the past two years, i don’t think my story would inspire anymore, rather people are gonna laugh, i don’t matter and have no value, just a failure in life, no one wants to be friends with me, some people here become friends with me for a while but it hurt really bad when they left for no reason and It made me feel like crap, still feeling bad and sad about it. I wish I didn’t exist
RAMU @rj1993
I am sorry I am not in the best mood right now, really sorry if anything I said made you uncomfortable, i don’t want any suggestions or tips to improve right now, just want someone to listen. There is no use in giving advice when people don’t know what I am going through and my struggles
I feel guilty now for wasting ur time, terribly sorry.
RAMU @rj1993
Idk there is a lot going on in my mind right now, I am scared and I feel envious of my friends, they all have normal life, i don’t even have a normal mind, am abnormal and weird, never fit in any group, always ostracized and an outcast, don’t think I can keep going, just don’t think I deserve happiness, it’s not for me. The pain is too much, am just wasting everyone’s time, I’ll never have anyone in my life, don’t really have any qualities for that.
