My ex broke up with me 6 months ago. All of a sudden he and his friends unfollowed me. What does it mean

Breakup

Boyfriend issues
I have been in a relationship from past 7 years 
Initial 6 years we were living seprately. Now from past 1 year i live with him. 
My concern is about him hitting me. this has happened 6-7 times in last one year whenever we have a fight. 
I speak harsh words to him sometimes i m wrong, sometimes he also speaks bad to me
I accept i may not be right but instead of giving time to me to understand his point 
He hits me grabs me...thows objects in house which threatens me that i should not live with me...
He promises me each time he wont repeat this
But it has been repeated many times...
I am scared of living with him 
Because i feel doing mistakes and arguing is part of a relationship 
But hitting someone everytime is it right?
Yesterday i had an arguement with him in which i spoke harsh words about his mother in half an hour his anger grew that he hitted me to bed and grabbed and pushed me..
Later on he said i didnt hit u and apologized
He does this everytime 
Some one out there please tell what should i do 
I m not ready anymore to live with him


Relationships

Why does he never send me a message first? Why has it always to be me who sends him a message first?

3am Thoughts

I am feeling like I am sinking and I am dumb and I don't know what to do in life the boy I love I think doesn't love me anymore because he isn't treating me well if I leave him I think that I will be alone and sink.


Self Love

I had been in a relationship since 2019 which was pretty good but ever since the lockdown began, it became an on and off thing. He ultimately decided to take a break from me for his exams and suggested me to do the same. I was fine with it too but I started getting insecure whether he would actually get back with me after exams cause it’s a span of 4 months gap. Moreover, I lost some of my closest friends too who I thought I could trust. So basically I ended up being alone all by myself. And seeing him be so productive, having so many people to hangout with and share his thoughts with , it hurts that I didn’t have the same. I gained weight, my mental health got worse, keep crying whenever I open my books to study, pity myself all the time. Would be really helpful if someone could drop suggestions to focus on myself 

My ex-boyfriend texts me sometimes. He is in another state and he called me video. He asked me when I plan to go to the gym and train my butt, ( he likes bigger ones) and I did not like this question and I said to him that I dont like this question and to stop asking me about this. Two days later he texted me and asked me again when I am going to the gym and that was the moment I posted him the middle finger smile on his message because from my point of view he is trying to make me feel bad. And after that he send me a voice message and told me to fuck off because I send to him the middle finger smile and that I am naive , and to go and take a look at my self in the mirror because I have a flat ass and he is being honest with me and called me a very bad word and after that I told him that he is a faggot( not me- I called him back the same word he called me first) and he said as a reply that I am a lost slut. After that I texted him and explained that my worth is not determined by the size of my ass and that I prefer to train my brains more and he said to fuck off, that I dont appreciate his honesty that I have a flat ass and I have to work out it in the gym minimum one year . I said that to go and date someone with a big ass and leave me alone, and when he will make a difference he will understand what is important. And his reply was : ehat difference, are you stupid? The difference between a flat ass and a big ass is a big difference ( that was hir reply. Please, may you share with me your honest opinion about this situation . Is he trying to help me , but got mad because I posted him the middle finger ? Are his words justified or his behavior is bad? Please, I would really appreciate🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏P. S ( after this conversation I deleted my skype and I dont know if I should log in to see what he was texting more or no)

I’m so mad at him because he’s ruining his life. He chronically self sabotages and pushes everything good away, including me. He remains in a job that makes him miserable (having panic attacks, barely can eat, etc.) and he stays living a lifestyle that he hates. He thinks he’s incapable of so many things, when in reality he’s capable. I wish he would get help. Our relationship didn’t have to end. 

Im so worried things are going to get so bad to the point where he can’t handle it anymore. Why does he choose to live in misery, when he could have the world? 

Three years back I liked a guy and him too.. But we were never in relationship but things ended worsly.. And few months back.. after years we started talking again like good friends as we were part of a program so we used to meeet every single day and we used talk late night as well.. And within few days he confessed that he still likes me.. And i didn't wanted things to end up like three years back.  I didn't wanted anything worse to happen ever between us.. So i acted as if I m not intrtsted. All these time.. He was there in my troubles as my mood changer . He did everything which made me fall for that person more and more.He gaive me lots of hopes about future And all although we know ota gonna be tough from family side And later I confessed about my feelings. And now he is saying he is not ready for relationship neither we can ever be together. I kept on trying but he didn't agree to me.. Meantime I become the person I never wanted to be.. He brought that vulnerable and emotional person out of me. I have even thought of cutting my veins in some worse situation between us. One dayhis parents caught us aata his house when they were out of house and I was there to sort our matter. And things got worse and I stood there with him and he made an entirely different story where it proves that I was there for wrong intention and which brought my image very down ans he told this parents that he had no idea that I was about to come.. I saw a very difficult side of him I begged his parents for our marriage as all these time I was trying to make him understand that I can talk to his parents about us and make them understand and make them convince for us.. I tried a lot on that day.. But things gone in a very different route and ended up worsly and still I waited for him all these time that he would be back and laat month i shared this with an elder person as I was getting into trauma. And this elder person was a friend of him and I got to know a different face of him.. I was shattered like anything because although I like him a lot, he was like my best friend, there was a trust, there was beautiful bond. And I got to know that he was just having fun all these time as he was getting attention from me and he was just enjoying and we finally came to a closure where he was talking to me very rudely like a person whole I have never met.. Never loved.. He was not the one whom I loved.. It's been two month since the closure.. My situation is that I m not happy deep inside.. I want to do things which would make me busy and engaged.. I have that thought inside but m unable to do. I m unable to smile. I m anable to be the person I was few months before. I m not able to be that enthusiastic person I used to be. It has just shattered me like anything .. 

Depression

So guys I want your opinion in something . I have a guy friend who is pretty much close to me we used to talk a-lot about different things , usually he text me first then i reply and so on , I really like him and i care about him tho it seems like he doesn’t feel the same way towards me . Any way , before a month he unfollowed me in ig and his reason was that he doesn’t want his new girl to see that he is following another girls and also he said he wants to focus on himself more away from social tho he didn’t say it in a serious way but I consider it, he suddenly stopped talking to me and sharing reels and stuff , it’s like i am his friend so why ? Shouldn’t he at least notify me about his desire to get some space ? I don’t know if he is testing our relationship or not i am thinking of texting him but I don’t want to look ridiculous or like i miss him . What should i do? Iam after if i go to check on him he will think that i am falling in love then he will start to act so agent and toxic ( this is his personality and i know him ) at the same time i feel guilty that he always text first and I didn’t even bother my self to text first and figure out about him. He is a very toxic man btw but i still care about him. What do u think?

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