My ex boyfriend is in another country which is actually why we broke up and he's working really hard and hardly has time for anything. His memories still are a part of me and I don't know how to get over him. He's working hard and I'm super happy for him. 

acceptance is the key.
try to accept whatever has happened and maybe don't think about things which you don't see happening in real anytime soon:)

Relationships

Let’s talk about it! 

The guy I like tells me that he likes me and talks a lot to me over call than over text. Calls me nautanki and knows how to make m laugh when I’m angry or something. But there are days when he has his withdrawals and then he barely talks like no phone calls and vvvv restricted text messages. I don’t know, what to say about him. I’m literally into him but there are times when I think that he is into me as well par Kabhi Kabhi lagta hai nahi he’s not into me. 
What should I do ? 


3am Thoughts

The boy that I love just told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. We have been on again of again in our relationship since the past 4 years. He was my best friend and we grew close. He is going through a lot of problems with his business and clients due to the pandemic and told me that he can not be in a relationship as well because he can not make time. But I never asked him for time especially to pay attention to me all I ever asked for that we have someone at the end of the day to talk to discuss our problems and have someone that we can count on to make the day better.
I really love him but I don't think he does. And it hurts a lot because we had planned a future together and had decided to work towards it. And seeing that he is ready to give up and let go of everything this easily after keeping me hanging for more than thre months. On top of it all my dog is not well and we might lose him. He has been a constant in my life for 14 years. It feels like everything is falling apart that I'm losing two important souls that I love so much. I can't take it. I was driving back home when I had this conversation and got a panic attack that's when a bus was approaching from the opposite direction I just wanted to slam into it for a split second but I stopped my bike at the side calmed myself and came back home.
I have asked him to call me again but I don't think he will.
I just feel like I can't breathe properly anymore.

Depression

I tried ignoring my feelings like most people in m lie said, pretending iamokby posting pretty pictures and not speaking to him but deep down, I hoped he would like the pictures and return to me just because, setting aside all that caused us to disagree because it felt worse not being near me. He was my first love, however he lied about his name, wanted me to send him money I did not have that he believed I had, decided he was done after the first month thus he started courting another all the while keeping me close for months while he ravished her as he had promised only me. I feel ashamed when I look back at it, and worse so because after a whole year of separation and watching him grow with the one he let me for still desire him. He is on m mind first thing in the morning and last thing before I sleep. I thought I was obsessed for a while and did not know why it was so hard to control myself and stop stalking him on insta. I have felt pity, sadness, anger, pain, hoping one day I would wake up and it would not make me teary. No one knows before he left he threatened to release m nudes to all m followers in the name of making me feel the pain I caused him, yet I did not even once tell him I did not value him like he did to me or that I was done with him. His justification for it was that he was angry and that's why he was hurtful. Sometimes I wonder if he treats her that way too, or if he just did that to me. I wish he'd apologize but I was the only one who ever did that. Now I fear that I hold so much anger inside me not only because of what he did but because for the first time in my life I let someone in, plus they wanted me and I wanted them too.  I feel messy inside, and I don't know how to fix myself. I am too scared to let anyone in and when I try I find myself being rather cold and pushing them away. Feels like he took away my warmth and naivety. Sometimes I regret sometimes I don't. I used to be so strong-willed and strong-minded on cases like these, now I can't pick myself up completely. All I feel is pain I don't know how to heal and anger I don't even realize I have until I lash out over minor things. The close friends I had who know part of the story grew tired of listening and all said they do not want to hear it. I still do not feel better. Internally I have anger on self for not forgetting them when i should and for letting them treat me as they did.

Long Distance Relationship

Should you remain friends with your ex?

I have kind of mixed feelings today, 
Yesterday had a fight with bf. I want to be calm just because I want everything to be smooth again. But I'm observing things. You may call it my overthinking, but I feel like he actually doesn't care about me much. He forgets about me whole day, he doesn't care if I cry or didn't had dinner, he just don't care. Sometimes I feel to go far away from him. But the thing is I can't live without him. And realising these hurts me alot. He asks me to trust him, HOW ????? I do everything possible to make him happy even when he's bored. When I say him the exact thing, somehow fight starts. Yesterday we had a fight, We didn't had dinner, he literally ordered for himself and ate whole thing like a monster. He isn't even bothered if I'm hungry or anything. 
This happened multiple times. I've never did like this with him. It hurts. Sometimes I feel like to leave him like nothing ever happened or to break his computer and his upcoming scooty. I just can't live without him. I'm still confused, is it worth. It's been 3 years. There are lots of moments too. I still don't understand whats in his mind. It's hard to live like this everyday, sometimes I feel like to die, I know no one will be bothered much, as I don't have any friends. My bf would be the happiest one, he would have words to talk with his so called friends. He would get his desirable chick.  Just the parents thought strike me. I just wish this fear to go away, I will end fucking everything and go far far away from everyone who hurt me. 

Exhausted

I want to share things and want your opinion 

I was in a relationship with a guy whose nation and religion are different. We met online.  I never thought in my life anything could work and I can ever have a serious relationship..just with the thought that he is great human being I went along with the feelings. When relationship survived more than a year we used to about meeting or if anything is possible in the future..he said I need to convert if something to happen...

Meanwhile I was in college where I met a guy who even after me telling him that I m committed still pursued as I was in new city and never knowing what boundaries are...he kept trying for friendship....but I used to be the group as we were only north indians...

Slowly my bf doesn't used to take it seriously that I can't convert and it was coming to my realization this will all come to an end...and told him about the guy that he is after me.
 I knew that he is not a guy that would be good for me...he used to say u should explore..blah blah..but I being a people pleaser couldn't do much..
Amidst all this I start having anxiety attacks...
I was scared that I would lose my love as there is no possibility of togethernness in this lifetime...and the other guy why is just not stopping 

One day I had dream of kissing the other guy on the cheek I woke up and felt..ki this dream means I  like him..i should not be with my bf..this is not good..how can of dream of other men...i said to break up as one day we have to part ways..i forced myelf

And felt as other girls move one come in relationship I can do the same...i broke up....but I still asked the guy to give me time...but he was like either end the friendship or relationship..i couldn't understand and felt alone that the group of friends I have will also won't be there again I have to ignore someone in the class...
He mesnwhile said to come with him to oyo.one fried of mine and her bf ..( from our group ) also used to go there ...i denied him that i dont want to ...he said we would discuss practical, watch movie ..spend time this way we will get to know esch other better ...lets go..ji agreed ..but still i felt i sm not doing right ...
And that night he without consent tried to come closer ..i was there numb like a dead body ....i somehow stopped him ..then he stopped ...that awkward silence snd i was hell scared ...


I felt we had moment so now it should be a relationship ....but suddenly after feeling alright ..of being in denial....my insecurities from relationship came ..that this guy would cheat his is not real ..somthing happened and i said i dont want to continue 
Lock down happend..my anxiety worsen ..had suicidal thought ...sought therapy ...

Then one day i receive text from my ex bf ( from different nation) that he feels i need a dog ...that i was feeling exactly like that ..i was totally alone in my darkness ...i couldnt understsnd how could he know ..

We talked discussed knew that this would end but we love each other ...

But before coming any closed i shared whatever happend beween me and that guy

He felt bad hurt but still accepted me ..we then continued for a year or so...
And we parted ways mutually ...that region and differences sil always be there ..respectfully we accepted ....snd that he nos wants to get married to somebody ...he feels he should get married as he is 24 then i felt i cant wait to see him getting married to somebody so we parted ways ....


I want to know was it cheating him any way ....that happned ..or ..it was just that i was naive and with all the baggage of emotions i made wrong choices which i dealt in therapy ..??



I communicated like my therapist told me to instead of holding it inside and now I wish I hadn’t. 


A long long time ago in Highschool I had a crush on a boy. We started hanging out and then slept together a few times and saw each other often.  

Then months later we got into a fight and stopped seeing one another.  This is age 17


Then he told my mutual friend that he had just wanted to sleep with me and I wanted to seriously date him and he was like nah. 

I felt embarrassed and not good enough. 


Years passed and he started talking to me and seemingly being really sweet and trying very hard.  Since Highschool after I grew up I became a very attractive woman. I model for clothing brands and have self esteem issues but I know other people consider me attractive and he has said he thinks I’m super beautiful.  He’s 31, I’m 29.

He asked why I didn’t want to go on a date with him and I decided to be honest like the therapist said. I brought up the past and said I was scared it would happen again and that it embarrassed me and made me upset. 

That was my main concern.   He read it and didn’t respond and it’s been a full day. We usually talk every day.  

I guess I ruined it.  It’s fine because I would have worried he was still doing that the entire time anyway and I feel like no reply is sort of confirming that for me.

I don’t want to hookup with anyone. I want a real relationship and I have trust issues. 
He had broke my trust before so I think it’s valid to say. 

I’m a little sad, I feel rejected now and it sucks.
Should I not have brought it up?

Anxiety

I fight in my house with my parents and brothers for them to accept for my inter religion love marriage...they are not accepting for it,they are trying to do marriage with other person for me,with lots of fights and talking they finally cancelled the marriage option with other person and gave me a time of 2yrs,that they will not get you any type matches,they won't distrub...after 2yrs if iam ready then only they will search for it..they clearly mentioned that if it be 2yrs or 10yrs...we won't accept that guy whom you have been in relationship...if you want to stay as single forever...we will leave you,as single...but we won't accept him,or we won't let u to marry him that guy... because ,they were bothering about society and caste,that he belongs to other religion... what should I want to do,I can't leave him,and I can't live without him... should I take 2yrs time,may there mind will change? Or what else I should do

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts