Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

My ex boy best friend told me about his childhood friend (who was also our batchmate)when I asked him if he could set me up with someone genuine and nice. He glorified him so much I became interested. He was one of the ‘popular guys’ and my friend told me that he talked to him and he is interested as well so we started talking on snap. He used to talk to me whenever convenient. But he used to give me mixed signals and I got confused but I still liked him due to the stories my friend told me and my others friends encouraged me as well due to his popularity and stuff. I did the mistake of thinking he might be the one because I was at the point where I lacked self-esteem and desperately ‘needed’ someone. One day he talked to me and we s*xted. And suddenly that became the only thing we talked about. As I said he only talked when he wanted to, the conversations happened really less and I kinda lost interest. But then few days after my birthday my friend said he is coming along with the guy to meet me (we were going into quarantine the next day) halfway there he tells me that he dropped my friend off and it’s just him and we hooked
up for a bit in his car. I didn’t want to do it but I used to be so afraid of him I couldn’t refuse. After a few months , I wanted to organise my school grad party he said he’ll help me and wants to tell me the planning at a local hotel where he booked a room for everyone. Me, him and my other two ex best friends agreed to come but when I reached there nobody was there apart from him and I was d£ad scared so I couldn’t say no. I just wanted it to get over asap. It’s been months now and I have changed a lot but I regret that day so much it haunts me till date . The worst part is I can’t blame him because I didn’t say anything or stood up for myself but I didn’t like any sec of it.