My depressive episodes have started to get worse and become more frequent, and I don’t know how to cope with them. I don’t feel like I can talk to people about them since I would burden them and because I don’t really have anyone I could talk to about them anyways. 

Haha thank you, you’re very kind. I honestly don’t really know why I’m having so many episodes recently. Nothing to drastic has changed in my life.
I know this is all from a long self hatred, low self esteem, and low body image that I’ve suffered from for years. But, they haven’t been this bad for about a year.

I feel the same, I feel sad and depressed Evey day in and out. I feeling like isolating myself. I feel you.. give it time and everything will be ok

Depression

Life vahi real hoti hai jisme bandishe na ho bandisho mai life life nahi reh jati ek chalti firti lash ban jati hai.

Life

I don't know what am I feeling;whenever I try to express I feel like there's no need to express and I forget what I have to express

Confusion

i think people should be open to review each other like just for gods sake tell me if im wrong  , or if i look creepy, or if you like me..please dont leave me hanging in the middle

ADHD

Dil tha bar gaya,Insan tha badal gaya.

3am Thoughts

The RSPCA are being dumb right now.

Frustration




Sometimes i feel like my dad has something against me, I don’t understand why he can’t stand seeing me happy and can’t stop comparing me with my cousins whom I barely know. He didn’t even want me to go to college cuz he thought I wouldn’t make it while my mom was the only one looking over me and believe in me, helping me study (she’s a teacher) and helping me in any way she could. He’s always mean to me in the way he speaks, like he’s always mad while i’ve done nothing wrong. Next summer we are planning a trip to a country i’ve always dreamed of visiting, a place where coincidentally my cousin is studying in, I’ve been wanting to go there way before she did, I even remember the time 2 years ago my dad came and told me for the first time “she wants to go to that place you want to” and now that i’m actually going he dears to say literally “you’re copying her, you’re jealous”  like WHAT?! how can i be jealous of someone i don’t even know, and why would i be copying her? I wanted to go way before i knew she did too. Now he’s trying to convince my mom to not let me go because like always, he’s the one who’s jealous, why does it bother him? he has to pay for absolutely non of it, it doesn’t affect him at all. My mom told him if he didn’t care for me to be happy and he responded “no, i don’t care”. Idk why these last few years he’s been acting this way, trying to put me against the rest of my family by putting words in my mouth i never said. He tries to put me against them and then forces me to talk to them and get along, he’d force me to wish my cousins a happier bday when i’ve never got along with them and they’ve never talked to me either. I don’t know why he can’t understand that we have no interest in each other yet that doesn’t mean we hate each other. The only one who’s always jealous of other people’s success is him. That’s probably why he didn’t want me to go to college either, cuz he never got to go. And instead of wanting a better future for his daughter like any other parent would, he wants me to end up miserable like him. He calls me stupid and immature, he wants me to grow up but not too much, he keeps repeating things like “you’re already 18” all of the time. No matter what i do he always has a complaint while no one else in the family seems to ever be bothered by my actions cuz i’ve literally done nothing for them to be. He talks so well about my brother and his side of the family as if i were less than all of them when in reality i’ve done so much more. I can’t help but feel like he hates me or something. Why does he treat me so badly?

Family

today,
i went out to get some fresh air outside
i feel grateful bcs i get to see the sky and the rain 
i get to eat some tasty foods with my family
although we are deciding to cancel our outing last minute
but fortunately we get to eat at that shops 
im feeling so happy
and yes i learned something today 
which is
" you can't give up so fast and you have to enjoy the life as much as you can when u are still have the chance , don't waste it :) "
but at the same time, im so sad bcs i will go back school just a few days more :(
hm
i feel so heavy to leave my family and home
but i think that i have to 
bcs i want to achieve my dream and ambitions 
so , just go on 
heheh finally you will get what u want if u study hard and smart !
and also i have feelings with someone but it was so imposible to get noticed by him hahaha bcs he is royal family but ya,hahaa i will stop dreaming of him maybe?
hahaha okay that's all from now 
bye 
-thanks for those who are reading this
i feel relieved bcs i get to say this to someone which is YOU <3
byebyee goodnight !
stay safe and be happy , keep smile okay?
don't be so hard 


Happy

Ek haseena thi...
Ek dewana tha..
Kya umr, kya sama..
Kya Zamana tha..... 
#HBD #kishorekumar❤️

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