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My dad wont want me on here.

Heres my pathetic story:
When I was nine, my mom was pregnant with my little brother. She was about 7 months along when I saw her walking by our school, which isn’t normal since we lived way far away. I asked her what she was doing and she said she just was walking by and wanted to pick me up. I was confused. She must have had pregnant brain. So we called an Uber and right as we were turning the bend by my house, the driver, inexperienced as heck, swerved the wheel too hard. We landed in a creek.
My mother and the Uber driver died in the ambulances. I was okay, but it effected my ideas of how to spell. I got over that with a lot of tutoring, but that’s beside the point. I had a friend who we’ll call Mary after my mother. She had no idea about my life. She thought I was straight, but I’m bi, and I was suffering a crush on her. She had no idea my mom died for a year. I just told her she got a divorce with my dad and moved to the other side of the United States.
My whole life changed when I met this girl named Ana. She was weird, so weird. She ran around screaming at the top of her lungs. Oh my GOD, SHE WAS SO LOUD!! She was wild! She had been going to a different school for gifted kids, but she begged her grandmother (her mom had her when she was seventeen, so she lived with her grandma) to let her join her best friend Loki at his school. That was my school. I hadn’t noticed Loki until Ana hung out with him. They were inseperable, and I still don’t know why. But anyway, they formed this friend group and the group was tied together by some invisible force.

One time, I was so desperate to fit in, I started dating this guy named Vincent who was really sketchy and sus. I hated him, but he had this thing for me. We were only ten, too young to date anyway, but I only liked Mary. She was the queen of my tower. Always would be because I love her. And she loved me too. But I learned that it was in different ways.
Ana built up my courage to ask her to date me. The only reason I trusted Ana now was because we were playing Soin The Bottle at Mary’s cousin’s house, and her cousin’s boyfriend wouldn’t let go of Mary. Then Ana ran through the door and totally destroyed him right after she had broke her skull open on concrete. She was pretty cool. Anyway, I asked Mary, and she freaked and left. The next day, she told me we couldn’t be friends anymore. We hugged. That was the last time I talked to her.

After that, the only decent person in my family is my little brother. My dad is okay sometimes, but he got really sensitive and emotional when my mother died. I only have one friend left at the moment, and she’s amazing. I won’t even mention her name, but she is just…I love her too. I refuse to tell her after what happened with Mary, but now I’m an emotional wreck. I still write letters to my mom about how my day went! This is so stupid! I’m an idiot!

Why should I bore you with my problems? I’m just a burden on society, so I have no place here.

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3 replies
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Simran @st1199

I am sorry for what happened to your mother. May her soul RIP.
I feel so good as to how you have turned out to be strong and independent. Kuddos to you man!

Being a BI is not wrong, it’s your choice and people out there would love to bond with you. I see you as a mature girl. You can handle things, knows when it’s right to stop and move ahead at such an age. 💜
Everyone can’t feel the same way as you do, it’s natural, right? We have a crush on somebody doesn’t necessarily mean they have too. I have also experienced rejections and it’s fine since its a part of life.

When i read the part where you write letters to your mom everyday as to how your day went, IT BROUGHT A SMILE ON MY FACE! It shows how you have the comfortness for her that even after knowing she can’t reply, you just simply want that she knows everything about you. Maybe I am going to cry after reading this again and again. And it’s not stupid, it’s your belief in her and yourself that you do this.

You are not a BURDEN, okay? Someone who fought and came back after an accident can be weak? NEVER. You are a strong girl who knows how to tackle everything in life, has a positive attitude towards life, loves her friend and doing every possible work for herself. I AM PROUD OF YOU.


Thank you!
I’m so glad I made you smile.
Thanks for the kuddos, they’re helpful. 🙃
This made me feel a lot better.

Thank you again!

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Even if it helps in the slightest way possible and makes you feel good about yourself, my job is done. 😇


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