My dad only talks to me about college, job and things like this. I want to have a normal conversation with him that doesn’t involve all this.

No but things like how was your day or Just picking random topics and discussing on it. 

One time my dad was literally telling me about caste and surnames uk basic knowledge and it was so nice✨ career life is already stressful I really don’t like to talk about it. 

That sounds kinda sad but I hope your situation gets better soon. 

Fir to Shadi hi ajayegi bro🤣 koi bhi stage chl rhi ho life ki I feel like causal convos to honi chiye not like din bhr lage h but thodi si atleast. 

I hope your situation gets better too and thanks. 

Same dude. I hope that this situation changes for both of us. 

You so lucky, my dad is not involved like yours and it makes really sad 
But I get your point too 

Then start talking about you 1st 
Like how was your day 
Explain him what happen today 
Then he'll talk 

Family

If I had make any small mistake then my father harshly shout at me that this is not good, u r immature, u should change your character bcoz in future u have to go to other place🙄. By thinking this that my own father sometime treats me like I am very pathetic. My mind revolves around such situations and then I can't concentrate on anything literally nothing works😔.

Emotional Abuse

When I was 6 or 7 years old, my father looked at me in the eye and said it's my bad luck that I became your father otherwise I wouldn't choose to be a father of you people.


I feel terrible.
Today is father's day. 
My dad hasn't been acting like a real dad for sometime (always fixating on the computer, trying to make stuff and breaking it, being angry at nothing 
and nothing goes right and just spending all his time doing something he knows won't work. And while he's busy with that he forgets his girlfriend and me and gives us 0 attention.) And today he texted me hinting it's father's day. Well I don't celebrate that... Ever since things went downhill family wise I just don't wanna celebrate those stupid days. I called him asking what the text was for he said "well it's a special day..." I sighed, of course. "I don't want to force you or anything, but your sister sent a message and I want you to dwell on the fact it is today." 
Really dad?
At the moment I'm living in my mothers house who's away for a month because I got so sad and frustrated at his place. He keeps telling me he doesn't like the idea of me being alone... I told him to stop saying that but we literally had the conversation about **twice** in a week! He's impossible to live with. Keeps telling me I refuse to take up any other chores around the house, yes I do that only so he does something aswell or else I have to do everything. I'm glad I don't live there anymore. Just had to share this somewhere in the hope someone hears it so I don't have to tell my friends my dad had been annoying, *again*.


I feel sad. It's disappointing and heartbreaking to see your own family seperating. I can't fake anymore of having a perfect family. For me, my family has always been my top priority, no matter what. Friends are important but family comes first. But now it's hard to accept the situation and handle daily fights and arguments. 
Dad doesn't earn well. He tries and work really hard. Mom used to love my dad. Dad's frustration due to his own failure changed everything. I have seen my parents fighting and arguing since my childhood. But now it's extreme. They barely talk. They don't even sleep together. Mom lost feelings for him due to my dad's aggressive nature. I have a feeling that she is having an affair. My elder sister is very sure about it, but I don't want to accept the truth.
I love my dad, because he does nothing for himself. Whatever he does, he does for us, for his family. But not being able to earn well and facing failure, he has turned really aggressive. I have tried a lot to motivate him, but I guess it was never enough. I gave up because I couldn't take his anger. His "I am always right" attitude. Sometimes I really start hating him but then again when I see him sad, I feel like hugging him tight and I want to let him know that I love him.  I am closest to my mom. My sister hates her because of her affair I guess. I try to remind my sister about all the sacrifices my mom has done for her. But my sister's childhood has been pathetic. She has suffered a lot too and now all these family issues is common to her and she doesn't bother anymore. She is used to it. Everyone in the house (including me) cannot accept their fault. They argue and make excuses. I am tired of daily quarrels. It is said that talking and making proper conversations solves the problem but here no one is ready to accept that they did something wrong. They don't want to compromise. I am also one of them! Is it my mom's fault that she is having an affair? Maybe she got fed-up because of dad's aggressive nature and she lost feelings for him. That way, I cannot blame my mom. She is a human too. But where did her humanity go when dad needed my mom's support? She kept blaming him for not earning money. My dad hardly buys any good stuff for himself. He spends only for us. however, It's my dad's fault too because he was never ready to take my mom or anyone's suggestions at work.. he kept doing things which felt right to him. My mom used to support him but again she gave up.
Is this a very strong reason for my mom to stop loving my dad and having an affair? Being a wife she should have been loyal and she should support him.
Whose fault is it? How can I bring back my family together? I don't remember when was the last time we all laughed together. We go for family dinner. But I have always been embarrassed in every dining place because my parents fight like hooligans. Every 31st eve my family creates a nuisance in restaurants. This year my sister left the dining table and she kept crying. Money has always been a major issue for most of our fights.
When can we have a proper family dinner where we four can laugh together and enjoy food? How can we four stop blaming eachother for every small thing? I am the youngest and I can't see my family seperating. 

My Dad is a very nice person he never get's angry or hit me or say something to upset me BUT.....when he get's drunk he talk's alot and i don't like that about him , he change's to somebody else totally different.... a few day's ago he got angry at me and told me very rough word's....which i think it will remain in my heart forever....and because it's a family matter and very personal i can't share it with anyone , he even kicked me out of the house once and told me behind every sadness and badluck of the house is me....he even told me he wished i've never been born!....and hoped i'll never be happy all my life!. no matter how much i try to think that he was drunk....i can't forget about the words he told me, i haven't been a good kid to him to ...because whenever he get's drunk i get so angry!.....just wanted to share this because it's been bothering me so much.

I don't know of anyone would see this Or not. But I think I'm gonna end my life soon I can't live like this anymore. No I didn't have any breakups nor any relationship issue. The real issue in my life is my father. I'm a girl and I love my father so much but he doesn't. He always starts any kind of argument and start to beat my mother. I think he doesn't care about us. Whenever he is in the house my mom and i always start to get tensed. We barely talk to my father cause if any of us tried to talk and didn't obey his rules ( which is always have to keep yourself low around him ) otherwise he can beat us he can insult us the way he chooses. I sometimes skip my dinner or meal too because of his bad language/slangs he use to insult us. I'm in class 10th this year and I want to study, I want to learn so that I can get a good result on my boards. I demanded my father for tution but he refused. But he wants me to score 95% + on my boards. I don't know till when I'm gonna live. Hopefully I'll end this life very soon. I am now too crying and writing this. I just wanted peace in my life but I think God too doesn't love me back. I only wish after my death, my mother could get happiness in her life. It's their 26th year of marriage but she didn't get peace in her life

If anyone is reading this, sorry for my bad English. Im not pro in English pls adjust 

Depression

Feeling conflicted or complicated? Dunno.

Today, my father died.

Before anything else, I have to say that my mother and father are currently separated. Not LEGALLY. They're still married in papers since our country doesn't allow divorce, and annulment is too... Uh, not really went their minds, I guess. It's because the same situation has been repeated for three times already.

During my kindergarten days, they fought and separated ways, but got together a year later. They fought again because of their beliefs difference and temperament clashes. That was during my early teenage years.

Then, the last time was just last dec 2018. The day started as normal as it could be, but then something happened.

It caused our feelings that were hidden inside to get triggered. Eventually, even I got my chest out of those unsaid words I've been thinking all these years. I was 21.

So... They got separated again. This time I was told by my father to 'get out of the house'. In response, I said 'I will!'

...

Since that time, I haven't talk and meet my father. I only knew that he went back to his hometown, a far away local province.

During these years, we heard that he got a new wife (it's because their religion allows it, but neither my siblings followed it) And even a 1 yr old son.

No one from our side (my mother and siblings) could confirm it as true. Only from those my father's side could we hear news from him since communication is not stable there.

Even so, we were not heartbroken. Why? For me, I don't really feel anything. Maybe a little? But not sadness. More like, 'huh? Really? Unbelievable!'

But when I look at my mother and hear her say it's okay and she's even glad that someone could take care of him. Deep inside of me wonders... Does she really feel that way? Maybe she's hurt? He was her husband afterall even after all of those years in conflict. Although she have already said it waaaay before that she have already given up her relationship with father and she only wishes that he could get along with their children— us. Unfortunately, we were not really close to him.

It felt like as if he's that strict relative that we don't want to talk to. He was strict, but not too much that it's unbearable. But, he isn't affectionate at all. I don't remember any moments that we laughed as a whole family, or even to me.

Yes, he laughed. But towards others.

Moving on to the current situation.

Last week, we were informed that he got attacked by mild stroke, so my mother and I hastily went there in a 7 hrs travel by land.

Mother convinced him to get admitted since he didn't want to because of financial problem. So, they sent him to the nearest hospital which is approximately 30 mins to 1 hr travel.

He was there for a night and was diagnosed. He has high blood which is already a natural cause. If he had maintained his medicine and took care of his body, it would have been fine.

He had 1 yr old son and a new young wife, and two kids from the young wife's previous marriage. He worked as a labor.

That made my mother and I to conclude that because of his work, his body couldn't take it and got mild stroke. When we were still living together, my mother have always kept on reminding him not to exhaust his self especially on a hot day. If he feels even a little tired, he should rest. But maybe because this time no one would remind him, he have ignored his physical aging body. For goodness's sake! He's a 60 yr old something old man!

It wasn't like he was financially lacking. The rental fee income from our previous home were sent to him monthly. Even if it's not much, but it was enough for a provincial hometown. But I guess, it wasn't enough to feed his new family... Sigh.

He got admitted and was discharge the next day since the doctor it was just high blood. We bought him his medicine and settled him back to his house.

It was decided to bring him to a bigger hospital in a 5 hrs travel distance city. He was supposed to stop for a night at another city on the way before arriving at the said city. This is so he only had to travel at least 2 hrs and rest a night, then travel another 2hrs.

We went home, my mother and I. It was planned that when father gets admitted to that bigger hospital, we could go there anytime since it's just a 1 hr travel from us.

But yesterday he got attacked by stroke again when he was being put into the car. This time it seems more serious. He was sent back to the local small hospital and was referred to the nearest hospital. However, this hospital is lacking equipments which is why we didn't consider it before. Now, they had no choice but to send him there because of the situation.

He was comatosed since then. And our relatives have said that he might won't make it. Even the doctor said some signals, vaguely they say.

We could only go there tonight and arrive tomorrow morning. But this noon...

We were told that he died.

My first thought was 'oh, so he didn't survive'. My second thought was 'is my mom crying now?'

Then... I felt nothing.

I couldn't feel sad. I'm even telling myself that I'm too indifferent.

I TRIED to feel sad... But it seems soooo fake.

I couldn't feel what I am supposed to feel as a daughter who have a father that just died far awayfrom her.

I am writing this letter because of it.

Am I indifferent? Am I too heartless?

But I really can't feel it. I'm thinking that it might be because it haven't sink in to me yet, but as I write this... I don't... I can't feel that sadness.

I even think that tomorrow when we arrive there, I might cry. Cry not because I lost my father, but cry because everyone is crying.

I feel guilty for being like this.



why am I the villain if I hate my dad? everyone asks ME kaisi beti hai? bhai kaisa baap hai vo? why is he not asked such questions?? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts