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drithi @drithi

My boyfriend’s gone back home for the holidays while I’m still here at uni- it feels as though I’m the only one putting in efforts to maintain what we have :(
I get that a relationship doesn’t have to be 50-50 all the time and sometimes one person has to put some more effort in; but it feels like I’m the only one putting in effort these days?

I’ve been having dreams of him getting back with his ex which makes my intrusive thoughts worse.

I’m thinking of not texting him or calling him until he does so first? But at the same time I’m so scared of being toxic to him…

Should I bring this up to him? That I feel like he should be putting in more effort?? Or should I tell him that I’ve been having dreams about him and his ex??

He does check up on me on text though but I’m always the one calling him and it makes me feel like I’m annoying him even though he tells me I’m not.

Does anyone have any advice??

5 replies

Next time when he texts, ask him to call you lol.

drithi @drithi

I have asked him to call me on multiple occasions- and he does. I just hate to be the one asking for it? I want him to call me because he wants to call me not just because I ask him to call me if that makes sense ¿¿


It does, dhriti. Is he shy?

drithi @drithi

No, he’s a very extroverted person usually :(
He kisses the phone goodbye every time we’re done talking but I’m always the one to tell him I love him first.

In our relationship, he said he loved me first - I don’t throw around the L word unless I mean it and so does he as far as I know.

I’m just so scared of losing what I have with him, he means so much to me. He makes me grow as a person and I know I do the same for him as well.


Dhriti, listening to your story abt the relationship assures me that everythings okay with your relationship. Its probably since hes away you are missing him more and want that extra reassurance from him now more than ever (when you were together in college). Why dont you simply tell this to him that you would appreciate him calling you without you telling him from now on. I think he hasnt just realized it.
You should communicate more , especially what you expect frkm your partners. It shows you trust them with your expectations and it strengthens it


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