My boyfriend needs at least 3 years time to settle his career and my family wants to get me married as soon as possible. Iβve not told about him in my family but theyβve a hint that Iβm in a relationship. My guy doesnβt want to talk to his family about me until he is settled financially. Iβm stucked in a very unpleasant situation.
Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes
Itβs a red flag
Tell him either get engaged then marriage can occur after he Γs settled or let you go .
If he isnβt willing to make you meet his family members means he isnβt sure about this relationship .
From a guyβs perspective yes there are times when his family necessities as required to be met and that is understood but you must see whether he is willing to fight or not .
I told him the same thing. I told him to get engaged lekin vo abhi apni family se baat karna hi nahi chahta. The reason he states is that ki uski family puri uspe dependent hai aur jaise he tried for gvt jobs but failed, so he as per him agar vo abhi family ko mere baare me bta dega toh theyβll think ki he was busy in me thatβs why koi exam nahi hua.
Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes
But coming this long at this stage in life where you both are partners ,isnβt it also a part of his responsibility to do the things needed to make things easy for you? If he isnβt doing that then itβs better you leave him ,he is holding onto you as long as you are and neither doing anything to take you further .
1) leave that guy if he isnβt taking any serious steps
2) tell parents Iβm okay with getting engaged if I find some eligible guy but I wonβt marry until Iβm financially independent .and then you can take off your career .
Whenever I decides to do this, he never lets me go. He is like ki I donβt want to loose you. I donβt want to loose you as a friend. So, please donβt cut connections with me.
Aur then i really get confused.
Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes
You have to be strong and cut connections with them
Donβt leave him a choice
He is feeding on your vulnerability.
Mann @mann1317
Best of luck⦠if he not ready to take responsibility
Sumire @sayonara_bish
This sounds tough. But I really donβt think his reasons for not telling his family about your relationship is valid. I think you should talk to him about this. He has no right to leave you hanging like that.Career toh kya zindagi bhar chalega. After all, itβs a 3 years of time, energy and money.
Itβs your life, your story , you decide