Thought

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Anonymous

My boyfriend needs at least 3 years time to settle his career and my family wants to get me married as soon as possible. I’ve not told about him in my family but they’ve a hint that I’m in a relationship. My guy doesn’t want to talk to his family about me until he is settled financially. I’m stucked in a very unpleasant situation.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes
Profile picture for Now&Me member @mann1317
Profile picture for Now&Me member @numanbhat
Profile picture for Now&Me member @sayonara_bish
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11 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes

Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes

It’s a red flag
Tell him either get engaged then marriage can occur after he ís settled or let you go .
If he isn’t willing to make you meet his family members means he isn’t sure about this relationship .
From a guy’s perspective yes there are times when his family necessities as required to be met and that is understood but you must see whether he is willing to fight or not .

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Anonymous

I told him the same thing. I told him to get engaged lekin vo abhi apni family se baat karna hi nahi chahta. The reason he states is that ki uski family puri uspe dependent hai aur jaise he tried for gvt jobs but failed, so he as per him agar vo abhi family ko mere baare me bta dega toh they’ll think ki he was busy in me that’s why koi exam nahi hua.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes

Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes

But coming this long at this stage in life where you both are partners ,isn’t it also a part of his responsibility to do the things needed to make things easy for you? If he isn’t doing that then it’s better you leave him ,he is holding onto you as long as you are and neither doing anything to take you further .
1) leave that guy if he isn’t taking any serious steps
2) tell parents I’m okay with getting engaged if I find some eligible guy but I won’t marry until I’m financially independent .and then you can take off your career .

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Anonymous

Whenever I decides to do this, he never lets me go. He is like ki I don’t want to loose you. I don’t want to loose you as a friend. So, please don’t cut connections with me.
Aur then i really get confused.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kafka_writes

Mahi Vyas @kafka_writes

You have to be strong and cut connections with them
Don’t leave him a choice
He is feeding on your vulnerability.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @mann1317

Mann @mann1317

Best of luck… if he not ready to take responsibility

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Numan @numanbhat

If you love each other settlement doesn’t matter at all . Can’t his family treat you like him like their own daughter. If you love him then tell your family he is not well settled and support him in his journey . If you are earning hand this won’t bother you , all you can do is give him confidence etc. But don’t pressure him . If he didn’t settle in 3years do you have assurity no but if you love each other you can compromise .

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Sumire @sayonara_bish

This sounds tough. But I really don’t think his reasons for not telling his family about your relationship is valid. I think you should talk to him about this. He has no right to leave you hanging like that.Career toh kya zindagi bhar chalega. After all, it’s a 3 years of time, energy and money.

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