my boyfriend is very stressed about his career and finances , want space and says he’s mentally not in a position to feel and think about love. Everytime I ask him , he says that he needs time and is not very vocal about his problems leaving me confused and doubtful. Even after assuring him ,says he wants to deal with this alone but doesn’t want to breakup either. He did gave commitment in the starting 2 yrs of relationship but now isn’t sure about it . I love him alot and think of him as a family for real , I’m ready to stay beside him in any given circumstances but seeing him change ,being unsure of me and his behaviour hurts alot. I want it to work and hoping for the future . I want to be assured if everything gets right and if he stills want to stick by me at that time .
What to do?
Shall we discuss about it little deep ?
I just want him to be the old self ! Caring, loving , respectful and honest .
Yesternight , he was dishonest with me . And it was not over a girl but because he wanted to spend time alone . I find this illogical
1. Has he been consistently honest about his past and present?
2. Do you feel a genuine emotional connection with him?
3. Has there been open communication about future goals and plans between both of you?
4. Is there mutual trust and respect in your relationship with him?
5. Have there been consistent efforts from both of you to resolve conflicts?
6. Do you feel supported and valued by him in your individual pursuits?
7. Is there shared responsibility for decision-making and compromises in your relationship?
8. Have there been efforts from both sides to understand and appreciate each other’s differences?
9. Is your relationship with him free from patterns of manipulation or control?
10. Have you both discussed and agreed upon the level of commitment in your relationship?
Hi thankyou for your response . Yes he’s been consistent and faithful plus everything stated in your comment has been discussed earlier , everything ! We were so excited about our future together , we have discussed it numerous time . We have been in relationship since 3 years and career was not an issue then , since past 6 months he’s been struggling and has changed alot . It’s like he wants to let go off everything in life but says he can never discuss about breaking up , he wants to talk and keep it casual . But I still feel for him the same old way I can’t keep it casual and want him to be vocal . He’s bad at communicating and manipulation is not his cup of tea.
Are you sure. I was asking for current situation not from starting.
Since 6 months he’s not communicating much and is not vocal about his problems that he’s facing w work and career . Even after assuring , he’s confused and doesn’t want to share . Each time , I try confronting about his sudden commitment issue and changed behaviour he says that ther is lot going and can’t focus on these problems . I rarely get attention from him , my texts are ignored , sometime I sleep without talking to him (as we’re in LDR) . He has stopped giving efforts and I find him cold hearted . Because I have tried being vocal about my issues considering him , everytime he neglects it and has nothing to say in return . Last night I never expected him to lie , but he did ! He said he lied about not going to work and spending time alone because he couldn’t think of any other way . I don’t understand what he wants . He doesn’t want to breakup either , he wants me to stay , just stay and talk to him as per his wish with no conditions and hopes . I can’t figure out .
Answer those based on current situation. If more than 50per is negative. It’s high time you should consider revisiting your decision to continue it.
I still love and care for him alot but it hurts every day ! I can’t stand his peculiar behaviour and lack of communication. I have patience and can wait for things to get better but he’s not able to assure . I know breakup is the only solution but considering his situation I don’t know what to do , this will affect his mental health more and I don’t want him to have a perception of me as the one who left him in his lowest point . But again he should atleast realise and treat me nicely which he never do.
A breakup maybe a good decision for both of you if things are bad. Initially it maybe hard but in a longer it will be a good decision
Thankyou for your response , appreciate it.
I’m not suggesting you to breakup if that’s your decision then do it for a good cause.
It has to be purely your decision on analysing the situation
Hmm will take time to analyse and come to a decision soon . I hope everything turns out to be better for both of us.
Friend jab ye career issue unke life mai nahi tha tab unka behaviour apke sath kaisa tha
Acha tha , sweet caring and loving person tha . Commitment bhi dia tha usne aur humesha pyar se baat krta tha , kbhi jhoot nhi kaha tha isse pehle. Hum bht khush the aur future bhi plan krrhe the .
Tab friend wo apne career ko lekar abhi tension mai hai isliye apko kuch bhi uss tension mai rehkar bol diya hoga unho ne aur apko takleef nahi dena chahte honge isliye wo ap sai thora jhoot ya kuch din sai aisa behaviour kr rahe hai lekin unho ne breakup bhi nahi kiya iska matlab wo aapse pyar karte hai
Unhone mujhe ye kaha ki relationship casual rkhte h aur ab commitment nhi de payege wo . Puchne pe itna hi keh rhe h ki bht problems h Jo bola nhi ja skta uske mind me to relationship nhi chaiye use per use breakup bhi nhi Krna h , ab iska kya mtlb h mujhe nhi pata , mujhe abhi Tak smjh nhi aya ki mtlb kya h unki baato ka . Agar pyar h aur apki partner apke sath kisi bhi circumstances me rehne ko taiyar h to commitment issues kyu h aur relationship kyu nhi chaiye ? Is baat ka mtlb nhi smjh ata mujhe 🙃
Abhi shayad wo tension mai hai isliye aise bol diye honge lekin ap bhi bol skti ho ki mujhe ye casual tasual mai nhi rehna pehle commitment kiye Thai ab kya hua career related problem relationship ka kya lena dena jo ap iss pr effect dal rahe ho aur ye bhi kehna ap ki apko khud ye sab acha nhi lag raha agar same chiz mai karti tab ap kya krte
Sab bolkar dekh chuki , per har bar wahi same baate kehte rehte h aur idhar mai roti rehti hu
Friend agar aisi baat hai tab ap unhe kuch din tak chor do aur unhe bhi ye realise hone do ki jab koi caring wala banda intezar krta hai apke jawab ka to kaisa lagta hai
Aur ap ro maat kyu ki agar apke kimti aasu ki kadar unhe hoti to wo aisa nahi krte bas ap apna life acha banalo aur dekhna unhe jald ye realise hoga
Thankyou smjhne ke liye
try krungi
Friend it’s my pleasure apni khubsurat hasi ko jane maat dijiyega mulya samay dene ke liye dhanyvad phir kabhi kisi post mai milenge 🙂
Jarur ji aur agar ap udas ya koi bhi baat apke mind mai chal rahi hai to bejijhak hokar ap bata skti hai 😊
Okay thanks , can we connect?
Açha Bacha @soft_forest_2
Yes friend this is my id
