My boyfriend and I made a deal at the beginning of this week that if I cut, then he cuts too. And he told me that if I ever get the urge, he wants me to talk to him first about it before I do anything. I accepted the deal, but I’ve already failed it for I’ve already cut since I agreed to the deal. But I won’t tell him because I don’t want him to know and I don’t want him to cut with me. I don’t really know what to do because last night, he made me think that he actually cut just to see the feeling, and I don’t know how but when he said that, it hit me really hard that I don’t want him to do anything harmful to himself. I ended up crying during the call but I kept my voice from breaking which was actually more simpler than I thought it would have been. Though, he did catch me, but I managed to convince him that I had the sniffles. But I feel horrible keeping this from him because he is like a best friend to me. But I also don’t want him to cut because I’m cutting. And he’s planning on checking me everyday until the cuts on my arm disappear but he doesn’t know I have added a lot more. I don’t know what to do.
Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you want to cut your hand?
I seriously request you to visit a professional and seek help for the same. It’s not normal to do stuff like these.
And, your boyfriend wants you to not do it, that is why he has put up a deal and you still broke that thing which is wrong on your part and lying on the second part.
He is putting in efforts so that you stop but you are moving ahead with doing exactly the opposite. The way you are thinking about him, he is also thinking about you. The way you felt what would happen to him after he cuts, similarly, he is also feeling the same and scared for you.
According to me, he should know the truth, and if you still wish to continue and do things like these which FYI it can increase with time, he has the right to decide whether he wishes to continue being in a relationship with you or not who does these things and not even listening to him or seeking professional help.
I took ur advice and told him. But I made him promise he wouldn’t do it right after I told him. Which he did promise. I told him why and everything that I was thinking about while I decided to do it. I already have a counselor but she would tell my parents and I don’t want her to do that because they would lecture me about it.
Thank you for telling him about this.
Ask her to not tell as it can hamper your relation with the counselor and want to keep it secure for the time being and once you feel okay, you will let them know.
I really thank u for the advice, but my counselor had told me that if I ever do any self harm, she won’t be able to keep it from my parents as it is her job to make sure I’m safe. All I can do for now is talk about it to my boyfriend.
Yeah, she is right on her part as it’s her duty else she could be blamed for this. But don’t keep it a secret because she is actually helping you stay away from it and consider it as something threatening (telling your parents and knowing they will scold you) and you will try to stay from it more than before. Tell your boyfriend as well, but the counselor must know everything so that she understands and help you.
I can do that. Thank u so so much, I really appreciate it.
I wish the best for you! 💛