My 4 year old relationship ended just a few days before the lockdown began. It had been a long distance relationship most of the time but I really felt nobody could understand me better. And now after things ended, which I know happened only for good, I keep getting into these doubt and fears. Fears of never being understood till that level by anyone else, or doubts of not being compatible enough with anyone else. I have been thinking about it alot and have ultimately derived from it that I am a difficult person to be with in the first place.
I am not missing my ex, but I am surely missing how I used to feel when I was in love and the feeling if togetherness. I really really do :(
And then I find myself fighting my own thoughts thinking about why do I need anyone to make me feel happy and why cannot I live happy being alone. It’s like I keep swinging between 2 personalities
Heyy, it’s completely normal to have these thoughts and feelings after such a long relationship ends. It’s okay and it’s valid to question a lot of things. Your ex was a part of your routine for a very very long time (4 years is really long) and it will take you time to come out of it completely and find yourself again. Try to focus this period on discovering yourself, finding what sets your soul on fire and what makes you happy! I’m sure you’ll realise that you used to earlier do a lot of things even if you didn’t like them and only because your ex did. I promise you, these feelings will pass!