Mujhe kuch acha likhna hai but kya yaar . Raat ke 2:30 baje mujhe 3rd class mei teacher se khaya hua thappad yaad aaraha hai . Why me ? God ? Why me???? . 

2:30 pe life ke embarrassing moments hi yaad aate hai 

Delusion

so exhausted of trying to be the most beautiful i can be. i hate that i care so much about appearances 

3am Thoughts

Getting alone anyone here to talk to me ☺

Love

Since the pandemic hit, it has been freaking hard to socialize with people outside my friend group. I get anxious and people always point it out. ‘‘Why are you so quite’’ ‘‘YOURE SO SHYYYY’’ ‘‘Are u ok’’? ‘‘Do you even smile’’ ‘‘Why are you so awkward’’ + I really feel shy and anxious making eye contact (huge turnoff i know) but its only because i get really anxious and insecure
These sentences really make me want to not talk to the person anymore. I don’t like it when someone points it out for me that i am that. BECAUSE I KNOW. and when they do, i really feel awkward and shut up. Now i rreally want to change this, i want to socialize and get out of my comfort zone. I mean i have close friends that are there for me and understand me, and they know who i really am.I am a kind of quite person until i get comfortable around you, then i am not shy. But now these sentences are all i hear.So any advice what to do? i really want to change this because next year i graduate. and i need the social charisma…

Now&Me Feedback

I am done trying 😭

Frustration

Ok so there are 6 main ppl in this thing, let’s name them , Seth, Adam, Seira, Elena. Jessica and Talia, we are all in the same friend group ( talia and I were best friends but we had problems and so we decide to just be on good terms, she is a very. I’ve person though). So 1 year ago me and Seth kinda had a talking stage and he asked me out, the next day which was also my bday, he broke up with me cuz he didn’t think this would work. All my friends were with him and called me to call Seth and check up on him cuz he was sad cuz he thought he “broke” my heart. But I was fine like actually cuz it wasn’t serious, but what hurt me was none of my friends really even asked me if I was okay, and Elena who I was closest to in the friend group (currently my best friend) didn’t check up on me, I guess a part of me was glad because no one brought this up much or took it seriously and that was good. So now me and Adam were kind of close like actual friends kinda close even before this but some shit happened when Jessica joined the group and like we lost touch. Seth moved to another school too, the friend group fell apart.
2 years before, Seth dated Seira but 3 months later Seira broke up with him cuz she didn’t feel happy in the relationship and was starting catch feelings for Adam cuz Seth was always busy to be with her. Ever since then I guess seth has this way of openly asking ppl like “hey would u date me or Adam?” Or like bring Adam down in front of girls. Like 1 week ago when we were just talking Seth publicly body shamed Adam. And I was just too shocked to even speak and I have never felt that guilty in my entire life, I regretted my actions SO fucking badly. Seth is just the type of person who makes ppl uncomfortable with like dirty jokes, like that’s all he thinks about. But he wasn’t in our school so I wasn’t that close to him. Me and Adam kinda-kinda grew apart over the year since the friend group broke up even though we were friends before. But for the past few days we have gotten closer again and like I can’t help but deny the tiny attraction I feel towards him, not just looks, like I can’t point out the exact reason why I feel this towards him. Adam has this close friend let’s name him Alan, so basically alan likes me and well I don’t really like him back. So I went and told my best friend Elena, and talia about my thing towards Adam, talia told me it was okay to feel these things and that she supports me, but also that like I kinda had a thing with  his like close friend Seth. When I told Elena she completely disagreed and these were her reasons, 1. I had a thing with seth (which really was not that serious), 2. Adam’s close friend Alan likes me, I just don’t understand the second one, she still keeps telling that this is just a bad decision. And I feel like they are right about the first reason. Me and Adam probably could be something, I mean I really don’t know if he even sees me like that, he is chill but also like introverted and I am very extroverted, complete opposites, ppl sometimes tease us both but I just feel like everyone just expects us to be in a “just friends” Stagec and do nothing more. I just realllly don’t know what to do.

Confusion

That Constant depressing urge for closure, when you are ghosted.

Depression

Why is it so hard to get a fucking job.... Like man there's so struggle 

Adulting

How do you mend a relationship with your sibling ?
I said some really really mean things in a burst of anger to my sisters.
I changed my career because she influenced me to choose better. It was a difficult choice, really tough but I did it because I wanted stability in life. It’s difficult for me to find confidence again, but I am going step by step. My sister kept nagging why I have so little confidence! I burst into anger and said ’ it’s all your fault, I lost myself, my confidence and values because you made me choose something else’. I said in anger that she should stop meddling in my life, she would never understand me cause her life is all sorted out. I regret it. My life has changed but there are better changes too. I shouldn’t have hurt her like that. She has been like a 2nd parent to me. She paid for my college. I apologized to her the next day. But what I said was too harsh, kinda unforgivable. 
By saying mean these things to her, I tainted our relationship, how do I repair our relationship?


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts