Mujhe koi aise nhi mili joo sach mein meri ho bss mujhe pyar kre ...😔aya hu fir se shyad le jaunga tumhen..

Kb tk akele rhunga koi toh honi chahiye joo mujhe pyaar kre feelings share kre..

Kya mujhe hak nhi ki main bhi kisi ke sath ghumu pyar kru uski care kru

Toh thik hai dil ki acchi honi chahiye m love ke liye hi yha aya hu 😔

Dreams

Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me bc i feel like compared to others i’m way to uninterested in others, not like i don’t care about them, i do in the sense that I want them to be okay but i don’t think about what people are doing with their lives often and when i say things like “oh how have you been?” it’s just a mannerism i don’t really care that much in the sense i haven’t really thought about it ( There are only a very few ppl i i actually care about and want to know about, but there are some people) I don’t mind other people’s businesses and i tend to be very self-centered, selfish? idk, that’s what i think sometimes. While with my friends i can go on rants about my life and my problems for hours without realizing i haven’t even let them say a word or asked anything about them, sometimes i feel like idk ppl enought bc i never ask them questions about themselves. I’ve been working on this and i know how to control myself better now, when i was younger i’d never shut up talking about myself and often friends had told me i was annoying, I didn’t realize i did this until one specific friend that had never said anything about it cut me off suddenly and said " You know you talk too much and never let other’s talk , right?" I then apologized and started to realize that it was something i should work on, I’m better at it now but i still get the urge of wanting to talk about myself non-stop. I never have any bad intentions and i don’t want to ever seem rude that’s why i want to work on this.

Other

I've feeling good but i need to share some bottled feelings I've been holding for years bout my childhood trauma


Anxiety

i'm not a materialistic person, a simple hug can make me smile.

3am Thoughts

It's 1:40 am right now I am just lying in my bed tensed and stressed without any reason..
I am not okayy..!
From few days..I am not productive at all..like not at all..I just scroll endlessly through instagram reels and posts.. I try to control myself but can't..you might say uninstall it.. tried but I end up installing it again..
I do this..I scroll instagram pinterest etc and regret at the end and be the same next day...tbh I am just procrastinating
I don't do anything.. just the least productive ever..after exams got cancelled I am not so strict on myself so the exams pressure went away..
But I feel restless...new academic year is gonna start how am I gonna cop up..?
I just am very tensed without any reason..I seriously can't think of any reason..
I am feeling tired..I am having very severe headache from a couple of days..I sometimes just black out..can't think of anything...it's strange..I can't explain to anyone..i feel tired weak.. I don't know what all..I don't feel like eating anything..I don't like talking to anyone... Just be alone in my room..I hate loud sounds..very very harsh lights..I get angry on very little things..I am never happy even in most happiest times of my life I just pretended to be okay and happy...and am confused why it happens...I panick at most useless things and realise later.. like I am a good speaker.. so I took part in a school elocution competition..I was all set all ready the day before but that day I wasn't feeling good..j joined the meeting and all..my turn came I started speaking..my temper is out of control.. and suddenly I started to panick..I forgot everything..this is normal ik it has happened once but I controlled it that time but this went too much...I freaked out in front of everyone in the meeting and I just left the meeting..it's weird ..this year really made me tired me a lot..and my parent's pressure also played a part..they just don't think about me..they think is study.. examss.. topper..sleep 4 hours.. study the rest 20 and fullfill our expectations.. but I seriously don't get much affected by it.. because I know if I take it seriously it's gonna affect my mental health..
Butt..
I overthinking every time..
This week was worst week of my life.. I never experienced these strange things before..
Even I told mom.. I am not feeling okay..she was like ye nakhre bandh kro and study and do your work..ye natak mere samne nhi chalenge...
I don't know how to come out of it..
I was randomly googling that I need someone to help me and came to this amazing website.. hoping to get some help..I am just tired of these shitty things...I want to be my happy self again..I want to live in freedom of thoughts and mind..
I don't know what's happening with me..
I hate this phase..I hope I overcome it soon..

Frustration

Am I the only one who misses being in a relationship? It has been more than or around 3 years since my last one. Its just so comforting and the thing is that I am not even falling in love with someone or getting a crush. I miss that fluttery feeling in the stomach. 

Relationships

I'm feeling jealous of my best friend. Not exactly jealous of her but of the attention she is getting. So there's a guy who is our mutual friend and lately he's giving her more importance than me. I know I cant lter his behaviour but I'm generally the attention seeker of the group so this feels a bit awkward to me. I know  i sound completely stupid but i dont know how to even control this feeling and every time she tals abot him i feel like screaming. I'm not in love with him or anything, i just enjoy the attention. 
Lately, Ive stopped talking to her or answering any group calls because i feel i will act out and it will make her feel ba and i dont want that to happen. This is my internal problem but i dont know how to get out of this?

Jealous

My holiday start from today now I can freely roam😆😆😁😁😁😆😆😆😆now I will fully enjoy day with watching movies, durga puja ,dancing, play some games with whole family 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts