Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Most of the time I feel sad, lonely & useless. I’m currently working for a tier 1 company. I’m earning a good amount, have negligible expenses & living a very comfortable life, but I feel useless. Though I have a lot of people around but I don’t have someone whom I can share my feelings with. I have very STRICT parents. They don’t allow me to go frequently out even though I’m 25. I had a good bonding with my college friends but most of their plans are in the evening or at night which my parents never agreed. Even for trips with friends, my parents never agreed citing reasons like I may die while having fun on hilly areas, clicking selfies or may drown in sea while enjoying the beach. Even the atmosphere at home is not so good, my parents keep on fighting daily which sometimes takes the violent form on petty issues & most of the fights are due to past relative issues and longed back to 15-20 years. Earlier, my friends used to play games together online but at that time, I used to focus on my career. Now, I’m happy with my career & available to play but now, they are busy focusing on their career. My parents doesn’t even allow me to watch movies or web series. Whenever they see me watching stuff online, they scold me to study instead. My father is a very money minded person who always talks about money & boasts about money & doesn’t want to spend money anywhere & a lot abusive. So, I don’t feel like talking to him. My mother is a very good person by heart but whenever she talks, she only complains about my father, relatives etc. She speaks in a bitter way that no one in paternal/maternal relatives wants to talk to her. I’m sure she is suffering from depression. None of my parents listen to me. Since, I’ve been working from home since last 2 yrs, things have been a lot difficult for me. I sometimes feel running away to some place leaving everything behind where noone recognises me. In order to keep myself happy, I just watch standup comedy on youtube or play chess. I feel my life to be total useless & want to start again.