missing friends who couldn't even reciprocate basic friendship to me let alone a very spectacular platonic bond (which i thought we had or we'd have down the road) 

still hope, still haven't lost them, hanging by a thread however.

Insecurity

Day 39 of writing journal entries.

I’ve almost been sick for an entire week now… this is frustrating. I wanna go do things already, I’m stuck at home… more than usual, and I don’t like it. I swear if I keep coughing, my head and abs might explode.

I didn’t do anything today other than be sick. :< I’m sure that as soon as I’m healthy again, I’ll be happy again. Have a good/day everyone. 🧡

Personal Growth

Why has this platform become so impersonal?? Every post is a breach??  You lost me after the meetups stopped happening on Friday evenings 👎👎

Now&Me Feedback

why do people hesitate to go to a therapist? like what stops one from taking help, other than financial concerns. (Just curious)

Anxiety

I just want you all to know that stop waiting for the people who will love you. 
Why can't you just love yourself and be loyal to yourself? 
Always remember that only you can make yourself happy and not others. 
People will come and go but you will always be with yourself. 
Stop treating other people like everything. 

Motivation

Dance in the freakin moonlight 😮‍💨

3am Thoughts

As an Indian my confession would be that I have paid bribe to get my official works done, even when I am a person who believes that giving or taking bribe is a sin. This is making me feel odd.

Conflict

Hey, I just found this site and figured I might as well add something since it seems pretty welcoming here. I don’t talk about my personal troubles much, mainly because I don’t have really have someone I’m comfortable just dropping it all on. I’m 18 years old and heading to university in two weeks (COVID-19 allowing) and I have been feeling really homesick. I live in North Carolina currently but I consider Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to be my home. I lived there for about 4 years with my mother and brother who was at university downtown. My sister lived in Texas (we lived there before moving to pittsburgh) and my dad (divorced from my mom) lived in North Carolina. Long story short, my mother had brain cancer and ended up losing her battle with it. This was early 2017 and I was a freshman in highschool at the time. I don’t like to get lost in my own sad thoughts for very long as it just ruins the rest of the day, so I threw myself into school at first, and then to my friends who were incredibly helpful and supportive. Because my parents were divorced, I had to leave Pittsburgh and move In with my dad in NC, where I am now. I haven’t been back to Pittsburgh since and I miss it dearly. I tried to use university as a means of going back, but it didn’t work out, as I applied to two schools, didnt get into one, and the other was far too expensive. I miss my friends. Thank god for modern technology and things like FaceTime, but it leaves something to be desired. I feel like I should be grateful for what I have and I feel bad wanting what I used to have. I just feel like something is missing from my life. Is this valid? Like in wanting my life in Pittsburgh it feels selfish to try to leave my life here. My dad isn’t perfect but he and my stepmom have done so much for me and it feels wrong to walk away from that too. I feel torn. I don’t know what to do. It’s just really hard. I miss my mom. I miss my friends. I miss what used to be. I know that’s how life goes, and change is inevitable, but I just don’t know if this is too much. I’m sorry this post is so long, I tend to ramble. If you’re still reading this far, thank you. I really appreciate you. 

Loss

***Trigger Warning*** When someone who has been sad, distant, not themselves for a while suddenly starts going out of there way to see people, often giving them gifts or possessions don’t assume they got ‘better’. This is the time to really ask them if they are okay; to reach out and not simply accept the answer of ‘fine’ or ‘great’ or ‘never better’. Because for some people the relief of having made the decision to end their life can make them happy, euphoric even. Often this change in the person is such a relief to their friends and family after having seeing someone they love suffer, they just don’t realise what has caused the change and frankly they don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ because they are just so happy to have the person they love ‘back’. But in reality, the person they love is saying goodbye.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts