Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. He came to meet me yesterday after 5 months. We met for 2-3 hours. That whole tym i flirt with him tried to make him feel special. But at the same time he was trying to maintain distance from me. I wanted to hold his hand asked him thrice but he refused. On asking he said that coming near to me he got some sexual expectations thats whyhe was maintaining distance. I was expecting atleast a flower or a 5rs choclate but there was notiing like that. The whole tym i was thinking may be he say how much he miss me or i m looking beautiful but there was nothing. Today i straight out ask him that i want his attention. He asked how much? M I ignoring uh? I told him jo bhi h i want ur attention plz dont ignore me. He said he had 10% battery left in phone and said good nyt.
It is not a story of a single tym whenever i asked his attention his love he always ignore.
Nd i m sure tomorrow he is going to act like nothing happened.
No sorry nothing😑
Kbse jante ho usko
We are in relationship since 2021
Uske phle ? Personally jante ho ?
Sayd wo tum me interested nhi h 🙄
Then why he came to meet me.
Why he sometimes act like i m his everything. These questions are killing me from inside.😐
Wanna talk ?
Ohk sayd dusra reason ye ho ki usko physical hona h isliye indirectly usne hath pkdne ka mna krne ke bhane bola maybe I’m not sure about isliye mene pucha tha personally jante ho kya
What you do ?
Does he live bomb you when you seem to accept it and distance away
Like when you are done does he come back and show you so much love and affection?
How was your relationship during long term during 5 months?
I’d ask if he still wants to be in this relationship nd if yes then he should start acting like it, if he says no then we break up. If he says he still wants the relationship but still doesn’t change i would just break it off nd walk away
I asked him this qus he said that he love me but is unsure of our future. Sometimes act like i m everything to him Sometimes not. I understand that he is giving more attention to his career but what abt me.
Kbhi lgta h i m right leave him kbhi lgta h dont over react he is right.
If you ask him … He will going to say yes 😐
You have to leave 🙆♂️
I don’t understand the other language you wrote… Nd this is up to you to decide coz we as people handle things differently… I for one am a firm believer that if you love someone you will need no reminder to show them love and affection or to give them your time and attention, you will eagerly do that on your own accord. So the moment i feel like im chasing you or have to beg for your attention, im out.
Yeah i would if i were in her position
It’s like a hot and cold behaviour
Push and pull
I think it might be avoidant attachment style
Now my instinct that YG especially he needs therapy is getting more stronger
I think a therapist would be able to help you figuring out this and at the least your boyfriend definitely need to see a good therapist and work on himself work on his triggers and heal
Now all though I don’t know all the details but from how much you have written here it seems to me there are 2 cases there a
1) that if it was not all the same from the start of relationship then there might be chance that something happened in between due to which he feel guilty he feel hurt and all this asshole panna is an attempt to punish himself, like something he couldn’t forgive himself or stressed out or just couldn’t cope with it so he is taking out on you or trying to make you leave him hurt him so that you will leave or punish him coz he thinks he deserves punishment.
2) he might be having an avoidant attachment style and in that a person gets anxious or afraid forming secure attachment and tries to run away but also don’t want you to leave him and might feel so much of hurt of you leave or try to love bomb you.
In both the cases you need to ask you boyfriend to communicate actively rather than passively and I think what you can do is try being soft so he feels comfortable opening up it can take time and you can encourage him to go to therapy and let him know that you are there for him
But also if you don’t feel like doing it it’s okay you don’t need to do anything you don’t feel like
Coz ultimately it’s his responsibility to work on his triggers and communicate
Utlimately I would suggest that try being soft and communicate and hold space for each other and see if it helps you both get better
If he is still resistant or if he still invalidates your efforts leave him
It’s not you responsibility at all
And you will not at all be wrong to move out if your needs aren’t being met
Ok do one thing …
Try to maintain distance. Control your emotions and also don’t text him from your side now. Let’s do what he is doing to you. I mean act as he acts upon you and what he does to you …
You will get the answers from that way
Açha Bacha @soft_forest_2
Mitr wo iss relationship mai interested nahi hai isliye aisa harkat kr raha hai