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Leah @leah13

Me and my boyfriend are in a bit of a struggle, I mean that is what I think I did not get a chance to ask him how he feels about it because now it is not a good moment. He is very stressed with his studies so I don’t want to talk to him about this because it will make him more stressed. About a month ago he wanted to break up and become friends because he wants to focus on studying and getting knowledge and he will have no time for me at all. Our difference in age is quite big because it’s 13 years. However I said to him that I totally understand that but I know he will have more time for me soon and I want to fight for this relationship. His birthday is coming up and he said to me not to buy him anything because he will feel uncomfortable, my guess is because he doesn’t have any money and no job at all. But he doesn’t understand that I don’t need much I only want him, his attention and his love. I want to talk to him about what is happening between us and if he still wants this. When he broke up with me he said we have nothing in common and he is not in love with me anymore. I am trying to be supportive and give him as much as he needs for his studying however as I said I need to talk to him about us because it is killing me inside. I can not talk to him right now because it will make him even more stressed and he doesn’t want to focus on that just now. What should I do about his birthday present should I give it him to him anyway or return it? Any advice is more than welcome

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @babysher
Profile picture for Now&Me member @allen_walker8
Profile picture for Now&Me member @gagandeep_kaur
5 replies
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Anonymous

I think age difference matters here and pls don’t beg for love in the sense like if someone really loves you they will give it to you… I don’t feel like he deserves you!!! So, just be quiet, you will find the answer if it comes to you its yours if not then don’t worry! God will give you more

Leah @leah13

Thank you for your reply. Do you think I should talk to him at all to see if he wants to fight for this relationship or just leave it? I know we there is a big difference between us but we do get along quite well.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @babysher
@babysher

Well hey leah!
First of all, it’s never the money or prized possession but the people who keeps the world revolving. Live yours, don’t miss out.

I saw that you both share a difference of 13 wholesome years. Age is perhaps not a measure for love, but sometimes, when things go out in the loose, age may have a lot to do with the difference in thinking of you both.

I see how determined you are to save both you and your boyfriend from sinking down the lifeboat and rhetorically opposing it may sound but he doesn’t want to bear the strings anymore.

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. I don’t know who amongst you is elder in this relationship l, either ways, with a heavy heart i must say that your relationship is declining love, and you don’t have to bear the pain of holding the broken.

You’re quite attached, as you said. Once you’re into the relationship stage, friendship and platonism would never suffice, never. You should look for someone whom you are not afraid to lose, someone that is not who you have to go behind on a spiky catch, but who’s there with you inside your heart when you close your eyes. A relationship sure as hell is demanding sometimes, but if it deprives you if sanity, my friend, it’s time you must go get some air, before it makes you suffocate on thin ice.

My advice to you is, before you take a big step, if you can’t work out a talk with him in real-time due to his studies, you can write your feelings and how you perceive this relationship in the form of a letter, and get him that on his birthday rather than spending money on stuff he can’t return. Tell him everything that your heart pours down when you think of him as whole, sometimes all people need is time.
Just like how you can’t see anything in a boiling pan of water, as the water cools down gradually, clarity comes.

Also Leah, you’re young, you’re reasonable, you can be anything you want. Dating someone with an age difference that humongous especially when they don’t respect your love and appreciation is useless. You’ll have better people in your life sooner or later, but you will.

Ask yourself, how many scars did you have to justify just because you loved the person holding the knife. He’s the knife you turn inside yourself, only to find him incapable and unworthy of your love.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @gagandeep_kaur

Gagandeep K. @gagandeep_ka...

Well said indeed !!
Thanks for putting so beautiful yet sensibly.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @allen_walker8

VedforYou @allen_walker8

Hi … can we talk about this in the chat ? I’ve send you a request … I won’t say I can come up with a solution. But I can certainly help you out.

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