Main tu smjhwaan ki main tere bina lagda ji  tu ki jaane pyaar mera , main kru inteezaar tu hi dil tu hi jaam neri

Memories

Chale gae hai teri zindagi se 
Teri yaado se nahi yaad aege hum tumko 
Bhale hi un akeli raato me sahi 
Chod diya tune sab tod diya tune sab 
Jate jate hume marne layak chid diya jab 
-- rishizzwrites. Follow ig 

3am Thoughts

I really appreciate my bf's friends and sibs coz they liked me for what i am for him and motivate me in such things and gave wisdom when times like i wanted to give up, and lastly is that they are comfortable to be with. Im beyond grateful for everything

**NOT EVERYTHING I DO IN LIFE WILL PLEASE EVERYBODY, 
*BUT WHOSE LIFE AM I LIVING?* 
*MINE* OR OTHER'S?** 🤔😉

Motivation

Exam went weird don't know what i feel. 

Even after facing the Failure, insult, etc but still I can do it. that's the first hope ever I have

Hope

Uff today he texted me happy republic day I am so angry , he should just send me my photos ufff 

Anger Issues

I m feeling so alone i blocked the one and only person i loved from last one year but it was long distance and he was not giving me time ..and now i m missing him my life has too many problems i can't even expres in words every second my mind is going through a battle and i m controlling my emotions so that i ll not cry infront of everyone but everytime when i m in bathroom or in my room i start crying at night also when I go to sleep my mind flashback all the memories of past and i feel suffogated and i start crying again...I feel like what should i do..studies me bhi mn nii lg rha exams bhi aarhe and i m feeling like no one is here with me...

Anxiety

Okay this is gonna be long

I just lost every single one of my friends just to help my best friend and now I've just been left alone 

But I I have no idea if it's me that the bad person here for getting upset over something small. Last week when my friend (we'll just call her Ava so it's easier to explain thats not her real name) Ava was off school so I was sitting with the rest of the group having lunch like normal when suddenly they  all start talking shit about Ava and her new boyfriend at the time saying things like " oh that's not gonna last long we all know what's going to happen" and how Ava got lucky and just generic shit talk about how she acts, appearance ect. So I decide to record the conversation since Ava is a really good friend of mine and what they were saying was horrible stuff. I text Ava and show her everything and she's pissed so during the weekend we talk it over and decide to confront them even though that probably wasn't the best thing to do but we were angry, basically what I did was tell them I had recorded the entire conversation and suddenly everyone floods myahs DMS with apologies even though the day before they had talked so big about them always being right and Ava always being so stupid and dull, Ava just ignored them and says he doesn't want to talk to them she just wanted them to know that she knew. We all then stop talking except for me and Ava of course. About a week later full of us just trying to avoid the group I come to school and see Ava and them talking which surprised me. I asked Ava what was going on but she just said that they had tried to explain everything to her so I just ignored it since I don't want to be one of those jealous nosy friends. The next day after school I was just sitting at home when the sport group chat starts blowing up (me, Ava and the other group are in that chat with a bunch of other people in our year we usually just tend to ignore eachother on it) and I seeava and the rest of the group talking like normal again joking around and making inside jokes just regular friend things I guess and getting really close which caught me off guard especially after Ava said she would never speak to them again especially after what they all said about her. i then saw that Ava had changed her pfp to a photo of her and her and the group going out to some resturuant, They were all friends again? After I had ruined my relationship with people I genuinly liked just to help her and now she's just gone and become friends with them again without even telling me? Now she's always hanging around them and I can't come up and talk to her because everyone else there hate me because I recorded their conversation. I know I probably should have just ignored the shit talk but I felt like I owed it to Ava because she had down the same to some other people for me and I stuck to it and I never spoke to those people again because of what they had said and I'm not saying she should do the same for me but it just kinda makes me feel like shit and I also don't want to confront Ava about it because I know she's just going to respond with something like "sorry I didn't realise you controlled who I'm friends with" and I know that she's right and I feel so selfish for thinking this way but I feel like I've just sacraficed my entire friend group just for her and now I'm left with nothing  and I don't know what to say to her because she's acting like we are all good friends again when we're not I'm just so angry but I feel ashamed to be angry because it's her choice wether or not she's friends with someone or not but I feel like she could have told me she was probably gonna speak to them again before I confronted them and ruined my friendship with them but I know that's difficult to do I guess but am I the bad person here?? I don't know if I should confront Ava or not 
(Sorry if there's any misspellings English isn't my first language)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts