Losing the only person that made you feel something actually destroys you.

Yeah if there is anything or I feel like talking I will

I haven't lost the person yet, but they've definitely become distant and i know they'll eventually leave and it hurts

Ryuga 

Depression

I come across a website of investing, earlier I too afraid of investing when I loose my amount in stocks but loosing doesn't mean to not to give try to other platforms right.  Entering into my 20s atleast we have to relevant amount with ourself. 
I find that platform super amazing one of my friend (online frnd) suggested me that. I blv him n did min investment n getting good interest even gud withdrawals. 
My intention is to writing this is tht if i blv my online frnd bcoz in real I dont have any. Ugh not have words to burst out my frustration level. I'm using that almost 2months in personal I knw my fellow but in online whom so ever I found genuine n trying to help tht human call me fake. 
IF STRANGERS ARE FAKE WE DON'T USE THIS RIGHT, I FEEL SO HURT BCOZ HERE ONLY I FEEL GOOD TO BE SURROUNDED WITH PEOPLE WHO.SHOW THERE REAL SIGHT WITHOUT ANY WINDOW DRESSING. 
Strangers are not fake here all are genuine according to me. 😭😭 still having headache of being called fake ... 


Stress

I don't know how....even after all these efforts and all the dedication one can give I always end up being the nice guy who will find someone better...its heart breaking that no matter what I do ... I am never the priority for them.

Breakup

My girlfriend engaged with someone because of family pressure
I am in pain last 3 month
Anxiety or panic attacks 
I don't know what to do
I m crying last 3 month every night
Depressed
Not happy
An emptiness in my heart


Anxiety

Thisbxhdnd 

Alopecia

anddd now i'm sad again. 

3am Thoughts

Devasted.
Venting out.

I feel ashamed of myself, where I reached today, having negativity in me, can't get out of my head, having negative vibes, I don't deserve anything right? I am dumb, don't know anything, what should I do then? If I am not understanding anything, what can I do? It is my problem that I am not understanding myself, I can't change myself, can't help myself. The problem is me. I tried and am trying no, but again get back to past self or worse, how much I need to hold on, how do I live like this. okay fine living till now no so should live like this now on too. Coz no one cares, ofc. I don't know why even I exist... This mind isn't supporting me, I am stressed but still doing nothing about that, lost all my energies, will, motivation. 
Only thing that is good is I was so so strong holding on within from years that no one knows all this haha. Walking alone in the college canteen is easy? with all the social anxiety and loneliness. Sitting alone in the lectures around the people having fun, talking, enjoying. I never gave up. But now I don't know how will I walk in there, when I talk to no one, how will it be, there is a meeting tomorrow, everyone there talk to each other, it's just me who don't have anyone to talk, gonna be a big big big task for me to face them and answer toooo 

Overthinking

POV: Your girlfriend instantly smile when you take your mask off. Then you try not to smile.

Love

Im just fed of diets and clean eating. I wonder when was the last time I had a subway burger. 
Day starts with intermittent fasting and ends with depression. 
Im skinny fat. Im not fat. 3 months back one of my professor told me "A fat girl". And after that all I can do is fasting and clean eats. I can't get it out of my head. 

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