"losing all hope was freedom"
I want to follow this but somehow cant let go of the hope. the optimism in me refuses to die even tho its so little. does anybody have any advice on how to lose hope?

Personal Growth

Why am i seen as your sex toy? Don't you think me as a human being? Dont you  see i have life? Dont you see i have emotions? Dont you see i am trying to be humble and gentle? Just because of being gentle, you should never use me for your needs. Why did you do that when i was on a facetime with you? Is that my mistake to trust you? I opened up my sufferings. You kind of made me feel good about me. But was that all just drama to get what you want? You broke the last piece of hope that i had on  humanity. I feel like i would to die of shame.  Did i ask you to be my frnd? You dont know  how a soul longing for hope reacts even to your fake words. That soul will think it true and gets dejected all over again. Why am i suffering a lot with none to share with.? My solitude is changing into loneliness. I wanna leave this Earth, atleast to escape this shitty reality

Depression

Losing hope 



I miss you. I miss you a lot. Everyday, I think about what we used to do and how it would be to be together. But I think fate has something else for us. Today, we are separated not because we don’t love each other. We love each other like nobody else. We are separated because of courage/confidence in each other. You know, in a relationship, we had everything. Everything a relationship needs to live a perfect couple life. I remember how much you care about me. You cooked food for me. You were ready to do anything so that I don’t have to suffer. And same from my side. I always wanted to make sure that you were happy. I also cooked for us and every little thing which I thought was needed to live a perfect couple life. But what I did not see, which was the most important in a relationship to keep it forever, was courage. Earlier, I did not have the courage to say to you that I love you and I wanted to be with you. You said many times to me, but I did not have the courage to accept it and I can have a future with you and like a perfect future. And when I gathered all the courage/confidence in you that our relationship will work and said to you that I want to marry you, you lost the courage/confidence in me. I wish I knew what was coming so that I had prepared it for us. But I think that’s what life is. Everything is unpredictable. Currently, we are not together. Today, our relationship is not there anymore. Even though we love each other like love birds, we are not together. Maybe, the time wants us to experience true love and separation was part of true love. At present, I am living with our happy memories. Currently, I have nothing to lose because after losing you, I realized everything was you in my life. My business ideas were incomplete without you. However, I will continue what we have started together and make it succeed so that we would be proud of our plan/idea/baby. I remember our nights. I remember how you used to hug me at night. I remember how you used to cook for me and care about me. I also remember our last hug when I dropped to your new place. I can feel the love that you showered on me that time. It was just the confidence/courage which made us apart. I think time will heal us. This separation will make us even stronger than ever before. I understand the importance of having a loved one in our life and I am trying to love them also. Forgive me if I was not a good partner. I tried my best, but it was just my courage that I lacked when we were together. I believe in God that he has better plans for us. I wish you a very happy and good life. May we be together again. 





Kavish Singla
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Girlfriend

It cannot possibly end like this, it's been 2 weeks since we broke up I have been crying my eyes are sore thinking about you everything reminds me of you, the taste in my mouth to my perfume I'm not even kidding, i mouth feels like the day we first met because I was sick that day too it feels exactly the same. I keep checking your messages whenever I use my phone I feel the absence of your call, I threw my phone it's shattered I've been having nightmares I keep crying in sleep whenever I dream about you i keep crying when awake when I think about you, if someone told me in November we'd end like this I would've laughed in their face we always made things right but I don't think this time we can and that hurts that hurts me more then anything, the pain is getting unbearable i wanna cry in your arms till I feel the burden is off my chest i wanna k!ss you till my lips go sore, there are so many things in my mind I cannot write down because I have 0 strength, i see your voice messages I'm not sure if you know but I hear them and idk it's just idk what it is. Love never fails and if it does it wasn't love. I still look at your pictures you're the only one that comes in mind when I hear love songs, without your presence in my life I feel so empty and knowing you might leave this city soon makes me feel emotions I never felt, how will I survive without your presence here? We will become strangers once again, you said you'll never let me cry but here we are 

Breakup

“it’s always been you” 
“i couldn’t bring myself to hurt you because you are literally everything to me. hurting you would hurt me” 
“if it’s not me and you, it’s you with someone else and the thought of that drives me insane” 
“you don’t realize the place you take in my life. it’s crazy in the best way” 
“we’re endgame” 
“i’ll be back for you, i pinky promise” 

all things you said to me, remember? just lies and i hate myself for believing you. do you remember how we never once broke a pinky promise to each other? we made that pact when we were 15 and maybe it’s childish but it was the one thing we never did even now that we are 20, and you broke it. you left me, told me to wait, so i did, you told me to not find anyone else, so i didn’t. how could i? it was supposed to be you. and then i find out you’re with someone else, just a few months after. apparently i didn’t mean as much to you as i thought or as much as you made me believe. you hurt me not only because you moved on so quickly but because you lied to me so many times knowing how hard it was for me to trust. and you will never know just how bad you hurt me, but i forgive you because despite it all, i think i’ll always care for you. 

3am Thoughts

Gaslighter. You don’t deserve me. 

I didn’t know that loving you was the happiest i’ve ever been, and now looking back I regret taking so long to realize that you were waiting for me too, I’m sorry that I have a tendency to run away whenever something feels right. Now it’s too late anyway I guess it’s one of those “right person, wrong timing” kind of thing. Sometimes I wish I’d have another opportunity to make it right, sometimes I wish to be able to turn back time but what would that even do? I’m still the same, I’d probably turn arround after taking a step forward bc I’m still a coward. You’re happy with someone else right now and I’m happy for you, I didn’t think i could be but actually seeing you smile with them makes me feel at ease, I still feel guilty but it feels better knowing that you’re over it + they seem like a great person and I'm rlly rooting for you two . Sometimes i want to text you and ask if you’re okay but wouldn’t that be weird now? i don’t want to make it awkward i don’t want you to think that I’m trying to get back to you, that’s actually not it however i do feel this void in my heart that won’t go away, and every now and then i get this thought of you struggling on your own, me not knowing and not being there for you and it won’t let me sleep. Although we haven’t talked in a while i know that you’ve had a hard time, I used to be there for you when something was off but now I’m not, would you believe me if i said I just want us to be friends? I mean, it is true that deep down I wish that we could be more than that but i can live without that, It’s totally fine for me and i understand it, who knows someday my feeling might go away too, but no matter what i feel you’ll always be extra special to me, there are only two things I don’t want to be for you; a memory and a stranger. We had something before it turned into love, didn’t we? or actually idk, I might have always been in love with you. I still remember when we first met, it was the weirdest feeling, you felt so familiar and safe, I remember how our eyes met and I suddenly got this thought of “oh, haven’t we met before?” I didn’t think we had but you looked like someone and I still don’t know who. I’m not usually like this but I immediately wanted to be close to you and I haven’t stopped feeling like that, not even for a second. Everything was right with us, you got the best of me and I got the best of you, I liked myself better when you were around me, you made me feel special and included like i belonged somewhere and my existence was being noticed I put my heart in your hands and to this day you still haven’t broken it, you’ve always been very careful with it and thinking of you still can only make me happy.

Love

I'm trying best to forget you. But yet your fragrance still remains fresh. I know that you don't need me anymore, but I still don't want you to leave. I have understood one thing about me, my love for you seems to have no end. Nights and days go by and the world seems to be doing just fine... but here I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot explain my feelings as to why I am like this but im sure it resonates true love. 

I knw we have parted ways for our good, but you will always continue to live inside of me. I loved you then, now & forever ♾ 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts