Life is ABOUT things you can still do and NOT about things you have not done...😊
Say goodbye to your inner critic, 
Be kinder to yourself and others...
Being kind is the most inexpensive thing on this earth...❤️

Coming Out

Lets play a confession game.
Tell us your dark secrets anonymously 😈

3am Thoughts

Soo I have decided to not giving up 

Hope

I feel like running away from my family. My ex. Everything that Mumbai has offered me. It’s so much drama and so much baggage. 

Exhausted

Anyone up??

I am obsessed since 2020 to kdrama
Now there is a charecter i am fascinating and think like living the life as them...
I don't wanna think about them bt in my subconscious mind i did...

They are move on bt I am still stuck... feel like heart break... even in my break up i didn't get vulnerable...
Now i don't know what to do... I scard of things... I know it's because i can't accept...
I am crying depression hate their other projects and their name intangible with others...

Don't know what to do...
Feel like loosing...
What can i do ??


Depression

I am depressed what to do 

Body Positivity

I was teaching in a NGO it's been 1. 5 months the children over there are learning but last few days they have been behaving like anything . Today I got very pissed and walked off from the class . They either run away or don't concentrate on what is going I know they have not been a environment where u have to sit with full concentration but sometimes I feel that my efforts are wasted . I don't get paid for that I teach because I want to . Sometimes I feel like may be I don't teach well that's why they don't sit . Tommoro I have to call the head to inform about the same . I am very confused . I don't want to leave . I am crying but then then what about my efforts no one is benefiting from this . 

Adulting

This is my first post and might be my only because the person I talk to about this isn't here right now.
I have a lot of things I need to talk about, and least of all of them is my parents, but honestly I need to take a break from thinking about the bigger things so here I go.
When my mom was in college, she got pregnant. I think she had to drop out to be able to take care of me. I don't know if she was knocked up or in a relationship at the time, but I know she doesn't like talking about it so I never specifically about that detail. When I was I believe 5 or 6, my mom met my dad. I know him as Matt. At first it was fine, but then again I don't completely remember because I was young, but I don't remember any bad things when we first moved into Matt's house. A year or two later, when I was 7, it got.... disoriented. My mom and Matt started fighting, they'd go upstairs and scream at each other for an hour. I remember once I needed help getting something, so I went upstairs while they were fighting for help but they were yelling so loud so I ran downstairs and cried until they came back downstairs. When they're done fighting, my parents go downstairs and not speak to each other and when they did, it was usually my mom snapping at Matt. A year went by and it didn't really change. They got into a fight almost every week. When I was turning 9, things got somewhat better, but now Matt was yelling at me more. It was only a little bit when I was 7, but when I was about 8 1/2 to 9, it got pretty bad. He was yelling at me almost every day because of such little things. When I was 10, things got somewhat better. There were some really bad fights now and then between my parents, but for the most part just little ones. But for the really bad ones and they were upstairs, I used to listen and cry downstairs. The Matt yelling at me seemed to get worse through the year when I was 10, so bad that I would cry every time. After a while, I realized there wasn't a point in crying, so what I did was drag my nails up my legs, leaving really prominent marks. I also did it when I got too stressed at school. Even when I did it though, I'd sometimes break when I was getting yelled at and cried really hard. Then after I'd cry myself to sleep. I stopped talking to my parents and started hating Matt. and everything was worse since 10 was when the covid stuff started to blow up. Right after I turned 11, my dog and grandfather died. I think my dad pitied me so he didn't yell for a couple months after. I really hated being pitied. I resorted to bad habits that I still have today, but almost gone away. One day at school, we had someone come in to talk about abuse. Sexual abuse, Physical abuse, and Verbal abuse. When the verbal abuse video came on, I scratched my legs the entire time so that I wouldn't cry. The whole time I was thinking, "That's him, that's Matt. He's a verbal abuser." At the beginning of summer that year, my mom broke her foot. She was immobile for 3-4 months. I helped a lot and Matt yelled less, but when he did I knew he was taking his anger out on me because of the stress he put on himself. He didn't have a whole lot to stress about though. I remember the last day of school, the day after my mom broke her foot, there was a parade saying goodbye to the fifth graders (me) so I went even though my mom was in the hospital. It was awful. Matt's mom was there, and the whole time we were in the car, they talked about mom. What was gonna happen, how we're gonna deal with it, that kind of stuff. I was trying so hard not to cry. I just wanted them to not talk about her. That day was about me, about me as a fifth grader moving on the sixth, and I just wanted them to act like things were normal for once because that's what I did my whole life; pretend. I pretended I was fine when my granfather and dog died, I pretended I was fine when I was overwhelmed with problems and friends at school, and I pretended I was fine when my parents fought or Matt yelled at me. I pretended so much and I wished they would pretend just today, just for this, just for me so I can feel normal for once. But they didn't pretend. And when I was saying goodbyes to my friends, Matt just talked about my mom's broken foot to the parents. It's like he wanted to bask in their pity. It made me sick. I think this was when I was most suicidal. That summer I was scared to wear shorts, because whenever I did you could see the purple marks from where I scratched myself so many times. Matt pointed it out before and I just acted like I didn't know. Now that I'm 12, I have to worry about a lot of things. The problems my parents give me aren't too much of a burden since I've dealt with it for 5 years. But it still hurts. It hurts so much. Like today, Matt told me to change the channel on the TV, and when I got to doing it 5 minutes later to watch a movie, he said "yeah, come on bitch." I think he realized what he said, so he tried to make it look like he was talking to our dog.
This is really long so I think I'll need another post to fully talk about Matt, because he's really been the main cause of my depression and suicide thoughts. I've only talked about this with my closest friend, and snippets to my other good friend but I don't want to seem like a bitch focusing on my own problems so I stopped talking about my parents to my friend a long time ago. So really I haven't said anything about this in almost a year. This whole thing I've been typing while crying but it feels like a small weight has been lifted. It's very small but still there. Thank you to whoever reads this.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts