Other

Be like a tree !!
bigger you get the more you need to be down to earth 

Career

heya every1 i have sumthing on mind which i want to talk bt. 
i met a girl online & we became sort of frnds. 
So 3 days ago while chatting she said "U used to text me differently" to which i said "Do u like this version more" & she said "I like dat u were an ass to me before" now clearly i dont understand wat does dat sentence means so i said "i dont remember" & she said "I'll send u d screenshot" but after dat 3 days have passed she isn't texting me back & yeah she comes online & read my msgs 2. 
So can any1 tell wat 2 do 🙃


Friends

How to be lovable? How to receive love from people?

Love

So today I gave two options to the girl that I been with since July 2021 though we aren’t in a relationship but I AM LOYAL TO HER ONLY TILL TODAY. I gave her freedom and fun but yet all I sincerely asked were those 2. Option 1: I am not ok of you kissing random guys for drinks. Option 2: I am not ok with you planning and will be seeing your ex in the near future if we get into relationship whether as a friend. 
So I said Would you be able to let go of those options and Choose me or Lose me? 
So she said I can’t let go, I want my freedom and I don’t think I will be able to.
So I said I am sorry, this is it even though I don’t want to give up of US though we aren’t in a relationship, I have broken myself for you numerous times when I am not ok with it but this time I am choosing myself for the sake of my mental and I’ve been thru a lot. I am finally letting her walk out my life.
What do you guys think? Am I too selfish? Did I gave up too easily on her to not change? 

Confusion

I'm just venting.

It's a terrible feeling right now. I've come to a point in my life where I'm well settled as far as my job is concerned.

I'm a teacher & I've spent years of my life making kids laugh, define them, showed empathy & all the care in the world. I've done my part well on that front and I'm proud to be a teacher.

But on a personal note tonight. I'm not doing good. My father is a well to do business man & whenever he looks down upon me,  he feels I haven't done enough in my life.

Over the years my social circle has slumped. All of my close knit friends are not in town anymore. I spend lonely evenings smoking and thinking about why do I deserve this? This barren loneliness? This hurt that I feel esp when someone from my own family makes me feel I'm just not good enough no matter what I do?

 I feel it's unfair. To come to bed after making a lot of people smile and then sleep crying. I wonder what am I supposed to do to make things better.

Lonely

Today's thought? 

3am Thoughts

From today my exam starts! I am very nervous, I am scared, thou I had revised everything I cannot help but fear......Wish Me luck!!

Exam

terrible, myself a late teen in an emotionally unavailable household. where my preferences are given no value. plus no friends at all (I'm an extrovert).


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