Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Lately I have been feeling extremely lonely. It’s painful to see day by day losing one and one of your friends . Everyday I lose at least one slowly. When I say friends I mean my friends at my school and not my friends outside. Today I lost my closest friend in school and that shit fucking hurts. That’s just waow. I love her so much but waow she is becoming like the others that have betrayed me. I hope I have quarantine until I graduate which is in 6 months. I can’t handle these people from my school no more. The hurt they have put me through I can’t with it no more. I just feel like I can’t breathe because of there existence is so near me and I just idk I can’t handle it no more. I just want to be done with school. I just want to be able to breathe again and be happy and feel appreciated. Idk how long I can handle this anymore. I feel disgusted by everyone. I have so much trust issues towards everyone. I just hate it. I have no trust in anyone. I just wanna know what I can do and just know where I did wrong? Like am I not enough? Really I think I’m this amazing girl but everyone is seeing me annoying, disgusting, trashy person who doesn’t deserve anything. And you know what it fuckinf hurts to hear that after going through so much in life. I’m just you know what I’m done. I’m so done. I have been strong way to long and now I’m just done with this. There’s to much pain. I can’t see any peace in my life. Like there’s no mercy! And I’m just done. With all of it. Think if I’m going to be lonely and alone for the rest of my life? What if I never get any new friends anymore? I have been trying to get better for the last 5 months. Soon 6. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONF? I’m having panic attacks every single days. Idk for what? Because I’m always getting up and I can be happy but why does shit happen when I’m happy?