🎵  "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away..." 🎵 🎶 

This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special..

3am Thoughts

Any Telugu people here..?

Hustle

Don't chase!! 
Attract 

Affirmations

I feel in love with a boy i was talking to for months. 
We fought and he is not talking to me. Its been a month but still cant stop thinking about it. 
i think i like hi more than he does. We met on bumble and he was my office crush , our talks were meme based and now there is a void . How do i get over him?


Love

So we went out me n my sister for lunch, n I was placing our orders but the water kept looking at my sister for confirmation and any sort of clarification even though my sister was on call ( she is my elder sister). I was so rude of him to do that n y do I feel embarrassed n annoyed

Frustration

If you go back a few hundred years, what we take for granted today would seem like magic-being able to talk to people over long distances, to transmit images, flying, accessing vast amounts of data like an oracle. These are all things that would have been considered magic a few hundred years ago.

Success

I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. I want my forever sleep where my heartbeat will stop and I will embrace death. I want death. I need death. I have lost all hope in life. I hope I either get the miracle I need or the death I desire. Life has become unbearably hard.

Depression

I am feeling stressed and tired. My twin brother has recently passed away and ever since then anything I do, my family would make a comment about him. It would usually go something like, "you sounded just like him" or "he would of liked that" or "he would have thought that was funny." At first I didn't mind the comments because maybe that was their way of grieving. Ever since he passed, my mom has started giving me mean looks whenever i am talking or just existing. She has continuously told how my ex still likes me or tries to bring him up in every conversation. And every time i ask her to stop she gets mad at me and wont talk to me for the rest of the day. This happens almost everyday and sometimes she shakes her head. This may seem insignificant to some, but to my and my messed up mind, its like im always failing everything i do and should not be loved by anyone. This has messed me up a lot and have led to many panic attacks and attempts on my life. However, yesterday was my graduation party and would have been his also. Even through getting ready for my graduation and during graduation, all my family talked about was my brother. I understand it to a point because it was a special day for him, but my family never once spoke my name or about me. I know this is selfish of me and my mind is really beating me up feeling this way, so don't berate me about being selfish. Anyway, during graduation my parents never took any pictures or said anything to my friends and teachers. I am in the band and during the ceremony we have to get up to play. This made me really emotional as I am leaving my family to start college. As I am coming back to my seat with tears running down my face, my parents turn to me with disgusted looks on their faces and asked me why I was crying and told me that no one really cared that I was leaving. This absolutely broke me. Fast forward to my party, my parents set up a picture next to mine, which was a nice gesture and I absolutely loved it. They constantly talk about my brother and cry, which I don't mind because I miss him too, but completely ignore me. I am sit in the corner with my friends and only talked to by a couple people. As the party is winding up my parents give me a gift which is a build-a-bear bunny with a button that has my brother laughing. I honestly enjoyed it but it made me slightly uncomfortable. Before everyone left my mom made me release a balloon in my brother's honor after I told her I was uncomfortable. She yelled at me for being an awful and selfish child, and told me that she wished I died instead of my brother. I know this isn't technically a rant, but I needed to say it in words before I spiral into another panic attack.

Child Abuse

I posted on social media app a picture of mine with caption Bloom the way you're meant to bloom, recently my crush who knows I like him has we are not in contact now posted a picture with cherry blossom trees one with the bloom..is it a coincidence? Or he is playing with my mind...am I thinking too much please help me understand 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts