Kya kisi ne kabhi ye feel Kiya hai ki jb relationship khtm hua tb samne vale ki galti hai bt waqt ke sath ye lgne laga ho ki anjane me hui galtiyan jinhe hum kbhi Krna bhi ji chahte the un galtiyon ki saza ki vajah se us insan ko kho diye


Trying 

Niraj pangarkar

Lonely

Hi

I am around 7 years old and me and my taiji having conversation, my cousins are there also. She is telling tu bahut chant और चालक है and I am telling inside my head, woh toh खराब hota hai, so I created myself as someone who will say yes to people in everything since chant और चालक तो selfish होते है. Main वो नहीं हूं 

My life become to please others, make people happy, if some is unhappy I start making saying something or doing so they are empowered or happy. I will not think about me or what I need from them. 

How it is impacting in my business, I tell someone to do something which require them to stretch, either I will ask them what is comfortable to  them or end up doing myself. Infact lot of time is wasted in making them understand. Which can be done straight since they are getting salary. So much of pleasing.

There is a view which I had is अपने itcha रखना selfishness है, I am creating अपनी itcha से देखो किसी क्या मिलता है और दोनों शेयर करो. Which makes me happy and others happy both, and if so. Eine don't want to that it's their choice.. Their life. 

What's possible now is I can say anything to anyone. Which is going to be beneficial for both and I get more yes and we both feel fulfilled. 


Self Esteem

Dard_e_dil ki kahani tum mujhe sunane chale ho, 
Aur kaha na likhna chordiya hai
Fir kiu kalam chalwane lage ho? 
Akad ni mere dost mai  zindagi se hara hua hu ,tum mujhe chunne ko keh rahe ho? 
Mai khudh kayi baar nakara gya hu,
Khayal zinda logo ko aaya karte hain, 
Meri taraf dekho Mai jite ji mara gya hu. 


Rishta ab ek kissa bnn chuka hai 
Aur ankho me aasu, maun tham ye dard ab mera hissa bnn chuka hai, 
Mai khudh apna na rha tumhara kaise bnu? 
Aree heera ni koyla hu mai, 
Tum karigar ho kar kehte ho mai tumhe chunu? 
Ankho me nind ni hai, khawab kaha se ayenge? 
Aree apni duniya bnti rahegi 
Pehle ye btaiye mere itne saare sawaalo ka aap jawab kaha se layenge??
_lost🙃

Exhausted

Kabhi lagta h move on kr diya par suddenly uski yaad tadpa deti h khud ko nukshan pahuchane ka man krta h haaye ye dard jine nhi degi... Kabhi ye cigarette🚬 dard dur kar deti h kabhi yahi dard ka karan ban jaati h kyu kiya tumne mere sath aisaa..  Ya jo kiya o mene hi kiya khud ke. Sath kya iska jimmedaar me hi hu.. Mujhe tumse dil lagana hi nhi chahiye tha...  Har duwao  me manga tha tumko phir bhi mere sath aisa kyo hua naa nind aati h aati h to uthne ka maan nhi krta.. Kya ye dard me deserve krta hu. 

Breakup

Khuch logo itne besharam kyu hote he...unhe na bola he phir bhi vo apni bat par ade rhate he... annoying people...

Adulting

Thursday, 14 April 
Soo heyyy u all 
         Mne ye app bauth time se hi downlod kia hua hai but i was just thinking from what to start and how to start because im not good at expressing my feelings idk how to write or how to tell ik this will anonymous for all of us so I decided to write so i dont have partner issues kue ky waha tak khabhi baat pouchii hi nehi im just finding my family like i have family but not my actual family this will be continue in next one :))))
  Byeee 

Life

Yaar kya sach me kuch logo ki life me pyar nahi hota ? Like sach me 🥺 like kitni baar dusro ko accompany karke khudko akela karenge ? Hmm, kitni baar. Ek baar ho chuka jab bura phir bhi samjh nahi aata tumko, phir tum usi traf Jaa rahe ho, or iss baar toh tumhe pehle se pata bhi hai ki end me akele Tum hi reh jaoge, regret krte. 

Nahi deserve karte ho tum ye sab. Akele rehna hai tumhe, humesha.. samjh lo 😔

3am Thoughts

Mene kuch anjane me bahut badi galtiyaan kar di. Jo morally sahi nahi thi. Uske liye mene apne dearone se kai bar mafi mangi unhone ek bar me maad bhi kar diya. But me jitni baar bhi mafi mangti kuch na kuch thoughts man me aane lagte jese ye colour dekh liya , ya desires aate h jabke agar ap mafi mang rahe ho to ap dil se mange us waqt dimag me kuch nahi ana chaiye. Mene fir finally jis din mafi mangi uske baad hota h na ke badi galtiyaan ki h to ab ekdam se normal baat mat karna chup raho. Me normal ho gae mene dearones se bola chalo gate ke bahar night walk pe chalte h unhone kaha nahi abhi nahi mene ek do bola esa fir mene us chiz ki bhi mafi mangi ke mene normal behave kyu kiya. Fir me irritate ho gaye wo sun nahe rahe the kyunki koi bhi apki apology baar baar sun ke bore ho jaega. To mene irritate hoke bola 'suno na' uski bhi mafi mangi , aur me mobile dekhne lag gaye. Mene mafi mangne se pehle khud se ye promise kiya tha ke mujhe kisi non-edible chiz ka addiction tha wo ab me nhi khaunge na dekhna na touch. But uska daily life me use h me ignore nahi kr skti ye bhi man me chalta h mere.  Mene last bar mafi mangne se pehle mobile bhi nahi chalaya jo aj ki date me kitna important h , tv nahi dekha , gane nahi sune , kisi dost se bt nahi ki meri kya halat ho gai hogi socho fir mene mafi mangi 'suno na' irritate hoke bol gai mafi bhi mangi or mobile dekhne lage. But meri halat bahut kharab h. me mafi bhi ni mang skti abhi kyunki agar me mafi mangungi to mujhe bahut time ho jaega. Meri body thak jaegi. Meri health bhi gir gai h. Me weak ho gai hu khana ache se nahi khati. Mujhe dr psychologist , meditation ki salah abhi mat dena me dr. Ko dikha diya psychologist se bhi session liye but har baar ek hi baat uske fee pay karni padti h. me kya karu ap meri jagah hote to kya karte mujhe bataiye i really need help. Me bahut jyada pareshan hu. Me kuch kam bhi nahi kar pate ache se.

Phir ek din usne meko raat 2019 ko masg kia 12 bje exact 
usne uss din mere sae raat 4 bje tak baat ki 
kio ki uska uske bf kae sath jaghda hua or kind of breakup hua or usne meko msg kia maene smbhala usko uss din 
but meko kya pta tha ki agala din ussae worst ane wala hae 
kio uske bf nae meko block kar dia 
or mae pura 1 hafta sochta raah ki mera kya kasur tha meko depression ho gya tha literally yarr usss din

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts