Kuch logon ki baaton ko suljhaana kisi ke bas me nhi sivaay us insan ke . bas uske consequence ko dekha ja sakta hai . 

Conflict

Notification nahi aa rahe mere ko

3am Thoughts

#Jawaani Bachpan ke unn bhaari baston ko jab uthake school jaata tha toh sochta tha Kab yeh bojh halka hoga Kab mein jawan hounga... 
Jab jawaani m aake kitaabo ka bojh Kam hua toh Pata chala duniya ka sabse halka bojh hi wahi h kyonki yaha zimedaariyo ka bojh kandhe pe..... pyaar ka bojh Dil pe... aur taqdeer ka bojh dimaag pe.. kuch iss trah badha ki bachpan m hassta woh maasom sa bacha asal m bematlab nahi hassta tha yeh Pata chala.. hassta tha woh mujhpe jisse jawan hone ka intezaar tha.

Koi GF hi ban jaao

Breakup

Kuch logo ko iss duniya me sivaay tiraskaar ke kuch nahi milta, family aur pyaar dono se.

Lonely

Mera bhai mere baare me kuchh bhi bolta rehta hai. Itna mean aur aise bolta hai jaise ki min kitna shadyantra karti hu. Main aisa sochti bhi nahi hu. Wo humesha kuchh bhi kuchh bolta rehta hai. Boht ganda ganda bolta hai ki main Is ghar me humesha jhagda karana chahti hu sabka bura chahti hu. Aur bhi boht kuchh bolta hai aur mummy kuchh bhi nahi bolti. Wo tez tez chilla chilla ke bhaukta rehta hai ulta seedha bolke lekin agar main apne defence me kuchh stand lu to mummy mujhe bolti hai ki ekdum chuppp ho jaana awaaz nahi aani chahiye. Ye kya baat hui. Mujhe ab apne ghar me rehne ka bilkul man nahi karta. Us din papa bhi aisehi bol rahe the ki mujhe humesha ek insaan se jhagda karna rehta hai. Balki sach to ye hai ki wo log pehle se hi apne gusse me rehte hai aur kuchh galat kiye aur main batadu ki aisa nahi hai to mujhe ulta seedha bolne lagte hai. Aaj boht dukh hua ye jaanke ki mere bhai ke andar bhi wese hi patriarchy bhari hai jaise ki baaki sab me hai. Bachpan se sab mujhe villain banake rakhte hain. HAR EK CHEEZ. main to aisa sochti bhi nahi, mere dimag me bhi nahi aata ye sab. Aisa sab sun sun ke mera pura self confidence kam ho gaya hai. Mujhe aisa lagta hai ki har time main kisi na kisi ko pareshan kar rahi hu balki aisa nahi hai. I overgive infact. 
Jab se ghar aayi hu, ek saal ho gaya, tab se har doosre din roti hu. Boht bura roti hu, pura din nikal jaata hai rote rote lekin inme se ek bhi kabhi nahi aata mujhse baat karne ya atleast mujhe sunne. Aisehi hoti hai kya families? Aisi hoti hai to mujhe nahi chahiye kuchh bhi main akele rehna zyada prefer karungi.
I had a chance to go back, lekin main fir se khud ko nahi chuni. Mummy boli ki mat jaao kya karogi, main nahi gayi. Papa ka birthday hai, main nahi gayi. Sach to ye ki mujhe lagta bhi nahi they even care ki main kaisi hu kaisi nahi. Main bas ek punching bag hu jispe ye sab apna mental emotional har type ka frustration nikal sakte hai. Sabse zyada bura is baat ka lagta hai ki mera khud ka chhota bhai jise main humesha apne se chhota bhai maanke chalti thi wo khud meri bilkul izzat nahi karta hai. Aur is baat ka kaaran wo teeno hain. Main kabhi uska bura nahi chahi humesha guide karne ki koshish ki, par ye log boht hard bana rahe hain mere liye ab is ghar me rehna. 
Main jaana nahi chahti thi kyuki family ke saath kab time mile lekin meri mental health boht boht boht kharab ho rahi hai yaha. Mujhe nahi pata kya karna hai, mujhe bas boht rona aa raha hai, koi sun raha hai to please please I beg you, koi help karo, main nahi reh paaungi aise.

Mujhe boht akela lagta hai ghar pe, mujhe samajhne wala koi nahi hai, mujhe nahi man hota rehne ka yaha pe.


Family

Maine kahan tha aap pe chote baal bohot suit karte hain lekin fir bhi aapne bhadha liye. Kam se kam chote toh rakh hi sakte the, humko sukoon hi mil jata ki baato ko dhyaan mai rakha gaya hai lekin aapko kahan farak padhta hai mai hoon ki nahi. Bas ek aur anjaan banda tha, just another guy. Aaj tak jo cheezein kisiko nahi boli woh bola aapko, aaj tak tareef nahi ki kisi ladki ki lekin aapki ki shayad nahi same feel hua hoga aapko. I had the purest of intentions, I wasn't lying when I said never wanted anything but you😊

She: I need someone like you but not you
He: Ye kaunsa zone hain
She: For example zone 😜
(Don't take it seriously. Just for fun) 

Galti se school crush ki yaad agyi.. 🥲
Ab betha hu school ki yaadon me

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts