Kuch logo ko iss duniya me sivaay tiraskaar ke kuch nahi milta, family aur pyaar dono se.

Is this a joke jo tum hass rahe/rahi ho. I'm crying right now. Kabhi jiyo iss ahsaas ko to malum hoga.

Yaha log entertainment ke liye bhi aate hai, toxic people bhi. This app doesn't have filter entry.

Language dekho apni, suffering makes a person more sensible and supportive. Leave and don't come back 👎

Lonely

I don't know it's just me or everyone feels this But I think I'll be never enough for my parents. Haar month ki jhik jhik. " Iske liye pise nahi hai "  " uske liye paise nahi hai "   " Yeh emi bhurna na woh bills pay karne hai "   " Papa ki umar ho gayi hai woh kitni mehnat karenge ". All I want to say to them is. " C'mon mom dad mai bhi insaan hi mujse bhi itna he ho sakta hai, mujse jitna ho raha hai I am doing that, aur itni he umar aur mehnat ki phikar thi toh papa ne apne well earning point par saving kyu nahi ki jab unke 20s -30s mai woh acha kama rahe the tab toh unhone woh sab unke so called sister and brother aur unke bacho pe  udda diye Jo ab unki respect Tak Nahi karte. And u expect me to earn 35k in month tell me how ?? Kise aisi konsi badi dgree hai mere pass itni salary ke liye. Graduation tak complete nahi hua hai meri. Tell me mai kya apne future ke liye save karu. savings ke liye mere pass kuch bache toh na. Humesha paisa Paisa. Responsiblity naam ki cheeze toh apko pata bhi nahi hai shayd. Aap batao I am 23 now kab apne mera bday celebrate kiya. U never did always saw my friends going out and partying. I don't want parties I don't expect dinners at hotels n all. but atleast celebrate at home. With just n HSC certificate I can't earn 35k. atleast not right now. What if I ask u I want to do my dream course it costs thousands then do u have that much money. And to reach that level of paycheck I'll need education and experience which will take time and money both chutki baja ke nahi hotay sab. Just give me some time and support that's all I expect from you. Just try to understand me  plzz. I don't like the workplace I am working it's exhausting sometimes.  But still I get up and go to work bcoz I have to pay for all the financial shit u didn't in the past. Plzz mom dad grow up plzz and just try to understand me. 


























Family

Loving someone 😄 want her back 🤗
Missing those conversations sending each other pics 🤩 planning for trips😅 but now birthday pr bhi usne wish nhi kiya😅 I was waiting yesterday till 11PM 🙂 but she didn't texted khudko dilas derha hu boards exam chal rhe hai next paper ki tayri me busy hongi😅

Confusion

Sbhi logo se ek winti h ki n&m ke pariwarik mahol ko kharab na kre 

Hope

Kabhi kabhi do logo ka sahi hona bhi dono ko galat bana deta hai 

Overthinking

it's a long thought so couldn't share in one post. But jo gaya so gaya. this year i've decided iss baar first thing first sala no expectation from anyone. no one mom dad didi frnds kisi se nhi. koi wish bhi na kare toh bhi sahi hai. this time i've decided i'm gonna buy myself an outfit of my choice apne liye mast shoes buy karungi take myself out and i'm gonna celebrate my bday alone. if possbile with total strangers  bhad mein jao yrr sab log. akele mast kahi ghumne jaungi apne photo shoot karungi [maybe you all will think me as a weirdo idm ] i'm gonna pamper myself. honestly iss baar ye bhi dekhna hai bhai hum kiske liye kitna imp hai. but before that i'm gonna celebrate my bday on my own. kya haar baar dusre se expectation rakh ke apna dil tudwana bhai. this bday i'm gonna buy myself an outfit, i'm gonna buy myself gifts. i'll take myself out to eat anf ofc ghumne bhi jaungi 
wish me luck guys and pls don't judge me 

3am Thoughts

Koi bhi mujhse baat ni karta...koi mera mitr ni ban'na chahta🥲

💀damn post delete hogya ig kya pta hai mere baree mai 😭kon tha idhar tapko

Problem -
mera din bhar normal chal rha hai pr koi thought ya feeling trigger ho ja rha hai phir main sochte chale ja rha hun aur uske baad andar se feeling sad  ho ja rha k6 krne ka mn nhi kr rha hai n pdne ka n k6 aur bs aankh bnd krke sona chahta hun  aur phir pura din aur raat bit ja rha hai jb tk main soke phir se n uthu tb tk mujhe ku6 aur krne ka mn hi nhi kr rha bss so jana chahta hun main

( ye chize pi6le 4 saal se chal rhi hai phle main mobile mein note likhta tha pr likhte likhe sb note bhar gyi keep note aur Microsoft ka one note bhut jyada bhar chuka hai ki main unhe nhi smjh nhi skta hun) 



Mujhe pdne hai pr main padh nhi paa rha hun. 
Main subh se hi apne thought aur feeling se bahr nhi aa pa rha hun.

 Jb tk in thought ar feeling p discuss n kr lun tb tk main pdai nhi kr paunga....

Thought-
1 main chahta hun duniya ruk jaye ya main gayb ho jau duniya se kyonki main phas chuka hun main harne wala hun aur brbad hone wala hun mera 4 yr btech ka brbad hone wala hai ...
Lekin ye chiz main pi6le saal bhi chaha tha aur uske baad bhgwan ne covid krke college bnd ho gya mujhe time mila 1yr apne aap ko apni gltiyon ko Sudharne k liye pr iske bawjood phir after 1 yr bhi main kmjor hun mujhe aur time Chahiye
Lekin ab sby khatm hone wala hai aur main brbad ho jaunga mere sare sapne tutne wale hai aur ye mujhe pi6le 2saal se dar rha tha ki khi main haar na jau aur iske bawjood in 2 saal k baad bhi main apne dar p jit nhi pa paya ... Ye meri failure hai ab isme koi hope nhi hai ye hoke rhega ab...

3 Aaj ek information thi jo main share krna chaha kisi se 
Pr main paya ki koi mera apna hai hi nhi jisase main k6 bhi share kr sku 
Aur agar main unlog ko ye information share kru mtpb jo mujhe apna mante hai to we khus ho jayenge mujhe phone krenge mujhse baat krenge aur mera aur time brbad krenge aur main k6 unse puchhna chahunga to wo nhi btayenge

mujhe dost manane wale bhut hai wo sb mujhe apna maan k mujhe apni 1-1 personal baat jbrdsti sunate hai. In 4 saal mein ye dost jo mujhe apna manate hai itna mera time brbad kiye hai aur main sunta gya kyonki main feel krta tha ki wo mujse thoda jya poor hai ya uske father mother thode jyada old hai ya mujhe apne dost ki baat sunani Chahiye 


Pr is duniya m koi bhi nhi hi jisase main apni feeling share kr sku jise main apna samajh k apni preshani bta sku 
Maa papa se bhi main k6 bhi share nhi krta hun. Lekin abse main thoda bhut jrur share krunga apni feeling ko, lekin main unhe apni preshani sunake aur preshna nhi krna chahtahun

3 meri sbse bdi kmjori hai ki main apne trike se jindagi nhi ji rha hun. Jha rhta hun wha koi na koi dost mujhe gulam bna leta hai phir wo mujhe apni puri baate usko jo man hai wo baat mujse krta rhta hai 
Phir wo pdai kr leta hai uske baad mobile m song chalane lgta hai ya baat krne lgta hai aur phir main pdai nhi kr pata hun pr iske bawjood main use mna nhi kr aise
Aise hi bachpn se chala aa rha jitne bhi mere dostb  jo mujhe apna bolte hai wo aaj tk mujhse happy baat krte hai aur hmesa mere sath time spend krna chahte hai pr ab main unse bhut dur bhag jana chhata hun kyonki main unka gulam bn chuka hun wo mujhe apne anusar nacha dete hai aur main bs ha mein ha krta rhta hun.

4 kya vc sir ya professor meri baat ko smjhenge notice m to likha tha ki jo nhi agree hoga unka separate exam krayenge pr ab after covid k kewl k6 student k liye college wale exam krayenge ...
In 4 yr m college wale student k demand p koi baat mane - Nhi - To ye kaise maan lenge - aur tb phur main kya krunga agar vc sir mna kr diye ???

5 Main new yr p resolution liya hun ki aaj k baad main jh rhunga wha apne emotion ko apni feeling ko jaise past 20yr se neglect ya dusro k samne aoni feeling ki value nhi krta hun aaj k baad main aisa koi step ya action nhi krunga jh main apni feeling k against kiya...
Is Resoulution ko mujhe bhulna nhi hai..



Feeling-
1 ye mhsus ho rha ki ye duniya meaningless hai 
2 main jo kr rha wo sb k6 ek din khtm ho jyga 
3 main akela hun life mein 
4 k6 bhi shi ya glt decision nhi le paa rha 
5 main apne aap ko bhut chizo mein week pa rha hun 
6 main chahta hun ki jinhone  mujhe mere purane ghar se nikala hai unse bdla le sku ya bhgwan unko sbk sikhaye 
7 jinhone mere papa ko preshan kiya unse bdla chahiye 
8 un sbhi ladko ko main maaf nhi kr skta jo mere papa ko gali deke mjak udate kyonki wo ek ******* hai 
9 un aone dosto ko maaf nhi kr skta jo apni khusi k liye mujhe brbad kiya ya actual mein main apne aap ko maaf nhi kr paunga ki main apna time, money, apne maa papa k dream ko soche bjay apne dosto k karan apni life brbad kr diya.

10 un professor ya teacher ko nhi bhulna chahta jinhone mujhe kwl draya hai kewl aur ant mein mere time brbad kiya aur bs isliye taki wo thoda superior bn ske ar student professor se dre ki fail to nhi kr dega 

Pr ye thought aur feeling khtm hi nhi ho rhe hai 
Aur kya likhu aise to bhut si inferiority hai sawla hun, pdne m accha nhi hun, dressing sense ni hai, table tennis k 2 aise match hai jinhe haara hun main bhula nhi skta baar basr jb bhi yaad ata hai main emotional ho jata hun, 
akela hun bchpn se, single hun ya koi mtlb nhi kyonki main aaj tk koi crush bnaya hi nhi kyonki main apne aap ko love ya gf iske liye main eligible nhi hun, akele rhna chahta hun puri jindagi bhar , logo espcl dosto se bhut dar lgta chahta hun sbse kewl anonymously hi baat kru, koi talent nhi hai na hi main koi smart hun,
Is note ko bhi likhe se kya fayda isase bhi k6 thik nhi hone wala jo hona hai wo hoga hi main bs dekh skta hun baki jo hona hai wo to hoke hi rhega 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts