Know who you are. Know what you want. Know what you deserve. And don't settle for less.

Self Esteem

If you "need" her, she'll treat you like garbage. You can want her, but never need her. Women are hypergamous. She wants someone better than her. If you need her, she'll think she's better than you. This realization will repulse her no matter how great you are otherwise.


For the boys

Hustle

It f**ing hurts when you don't have anyone talk to ..

3am Thoughts

I’ll never find that kind of love.

I had a panic attack yesterday. I tried to calm myself down and not hurt myself. 

I feel the need to vent, and I support and welcome any comments and suggestions... I feel exhausted, like all the time. I'm 26 and I feel like I wasted my entire life already, like I know I haven't but it doesn't feel like I'll ever get to have the experiences I really want, like, I've never even been to a party, do house parties not exist anymore? Yea I know Covid has that shut down right now but still even before then. I used to have a good group of friends and we all hung out on Discord playing games and D&D together, but due to multiple reasons I don't feel comfortable playing D&D with them anymore and it's given me less and less of a reason to be around them. I like them, for the most part, but I feel so unimportant to all of them that it doesn't even matter I haven't been in the chat for like 8 months. My other group of real world friends (whom I only met about 5 years ago) I honestly cherish more than anything else, but I feel more like an outsider than their friend. I know it's probably wrong, but I feel like I only get invited to things as a side thought. I hate myself so much, and I think it leads to me isolating from everyone all the time, and I go through these phases of getting over that and hanging out with everyone like everything's fine and then I vanish for month's. I worry about the days where I finally decide to isolate myself from the people I know in real life, cause I for sure will kill myself... I'm not trying to cause alarm for any who are reading, I really am in a good place and honestly one of the best mental health stages of my entire life. But if nothing else, others would describe me as shrewd and to the facts, and I honestly believe if those days come I will kill myself, so I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to turn my life around to stay away from that. I like my job, but it could be better. I live with my parents, but I'm saving up to try to buy my own place. I have a girlfriend but that's extremely complicated right now. I'm so tired of being alone on weekends, but I'm terrified to ask people to hang out with me. I feel like I missed the "party" stage of college and high school and now I don't know how to go out and make friends. I started going to raves with my a few of my friends and unsurprisingly that spiked my anxiety levels to a point I didn't even think possible, like I consider myself a pretty chill guy, really laid back go with the flow, all cool baby, and here I am having literal panic attacks at a silent disco (for those who don't know its  a small silent dance floor and everyone is given headphones to jam to at their own leisure) and it doesn't help that I feel like an outsider even with the people that are there "with me". There's a lot of times I hope and pray that reincarnation is real so that when I die, I can get another chance and hopefully not fuck it up again, and I get this feeling of being stuck, like, I don't expect to die of natural causes for like 60 years, and I'm gonna try VERY hard to stay away from jumping off a building, if for no better reason than that if I do, and heaven and hell do exist, then I probably won't end up in the same realm as my kitten that I had to put down last year.... I'm not trying to write a sob story, but it hurt... And she felt like a reason for me to get my life on track and fix everything, I was actually extremely motivated to change for her, and then she had to leave... And now I have nothing.

Anyways I think that's all I have to say, I think it helps to just have my thoughts written down and exposed to the world, so feel free to comment or don't.

Overthinking

Just finished watch Daredevil Final season.
Any Daredevil fans around here?

I think Wilson Fisk might just be my next favourite villain from now onwards. 

Happy

Hello, I am back on now. If anyone needs someone to talk to feel free to comment. If I get busy it may take me a bit to reply. So please bare with me.

Supportive

Her hand slip into mine, I slip into Paradise🍃

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts